The divorce of Bill and Melinda Gates is giving comedians a lot of content. I came across this joke circling around in social media that goes like this:
“Brad Pitt, one of the sexiest men in the world couldn’t keep his wife happy.
Jeff Bezos, one of the richest men in the world couldn’t keep his wife happy.
One of the most successful men in the world, Bill Gates could not keep his wife happy.
We can only try.”
People stay in a relationship or marriage for various reasons. But what is it that makes people feel fulfilled?
Is it the looks? Physical appearance changes as you age. Some of us do give it an importance when we are looking for a potential mate. There is nothing wrong in it. But can it sustain a relationship? No, it cannot.
How about money? One of the top 5 reasons for divorce is money. You cannot disregard it. It is not everything, but it is something. Like they say, “I have been poor, I have been rich, and I like the rich a whole lot better.”
What about professional success of a person? That can be very impressive. However, is it enough to fulfill you in a relationship? No, in most cases it cannot.
If looks, money and success is not enough, then what is it?
It is unfortunate when relationships end. We do not know what happened in these 3 celebrity marriages. There were many speculations about what caused their breakup, but they only knew what happened. We don’t know what was going on in their everyday lives, how they were dealing with each other on a regular basis.
Take for example, Jennifer Lopez’s break up with Alex Rodriguez. Media said his wandering eye and infidelity was the cause to end the relationship. Now, whenever infidelity happens it may be a facilitator for the breakup in a bigger wider sense. But what was the deeper and underlying reason behind that behavior?
When people are unfulfilled, they look outside for things that their partner is not giving them. It does not make the action right though. It impacts and causes devastating results to both people in the relationship.
It takes both partners to make a relationship work.
And when you hear a relationship ended due to irreconcilable differences. What does that mean?
It can mean some of the elements that play a significant role in a successful relationship are missing.
For example, here are some important factors that can lead to a breakup:
Lack of communication skills (talking & listening): Communication is fundamental for a relationship. How you talk and listen affects your relationship in a big way. And if you use communication skills effectively, it can prevent many everyday fights and arguments.
Unresolved issues: All couples have disagreements. When disagreements are not resolved whether over difference in parenting styles or finances or whatever that is, it creates resentment over time. Speak up before it is too late. Don’t push it under the rug. Otherwise, a day arrives when you cannot take it anymore and you decide to end the relationship.
Lack of intimacy: Intimacy, sexual and emotional helps you to connect and deepen your bond with your partner. Whereas, busy schedules, lack of skills in communication, not giving importance to the relationship, difference in intimacy needs can negatively impact both the partners.
Lack of mutual trust: Trust is the foundation of a healthy and successful relationship. Trust makes a relationship secure. It helps in navigating through the uncertain and tough times. To build trust the actions and the words need to be aligned.
Different priorities and interests: Not all interests have to be similar. However, some common interests which a couple can experience and enjoy together play a vital role in making the bond stronger or else the couple grows apart.
Marriage is like a plant. It needs constant watering, love and care. If you neglect it, it will wither and eventually die.