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Lessons Learned Making the Podcast Rewilding Love

Enjoy this week's post from Rohini about her behind the scenes learning while making our Podcast Rewilding Love.

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This is not a post about how to make a podcast. This post is about inner learnings that have unfolded through the course of making a podcast that may be helpful or of interest.

They are:

  • The Power of Resolve
  • Relationship Learning on Steroids
  • It Takes a Team

The Power of Resolve

I often write about the importance of listening to the still quiet voice within and following the inner promptings. Seth Godin wrote a post recently that said, “Qarrtsiluni…is the Inuit word for sitting together in the darkness, quietly, waiting for something creative or important to occur.” Qarrtsiluni makes it much easier to hear our wisdom, but it is not a prerequisite.

Our inner knowing is available to us every moment of every day whether we are in darkness or in light, whether we are alone or in company. We are never separate from it. Sometimes the chatter of our conditioned thinking and intellect is just so loud it is difficult to hear. But one of my key learnings from this process is to pay attention to the promptings of my deeper knowing. I have seen the results of this throughout my life in big and small ways. One of the bigger ways was asking an English photographer out on a date after a shoot even though he was only going to be in the country for another two days. Twenty-eight years and two daughters later it is not a choice I regret.

Listening is the first step, but just because your inner wisdom is guiding you to do something, it doesn’t mean it will be easy. I knew to listen to the podcast idea and act on it, but I was met with resistance. Angus told me we would never find anyone to participate. We did. He told me the technology would be too difficult to figure out. It wasn’t, but I will admit we are amateurs and some of the raw footage sound quality reflects this, but it wasn’t a reason not to do it. It also took much longer than I thought. Much longer. But I had never captured a story from raw footage. It was a completely new experience for me. I was on a big learning curve and still am. And it was all worth it.

So don’t get discouraged if what your inner prompting calls you to do feels hard at times. It doesn’t mean you are on the wrong track. Just because your inner wisdom is guiding you it doesn’t mean, as Alicia says in our podcast, that it is going to be all rainbows and unicorns.

I love a challenge and even though there were difficult times and times when I wondered if I was ever going to be able to pull it together I knew that I was on track. My emotional experience of frustration, disappointment, or discouragement didn’t mean I was off track, and even with these surface emotions, there was the deeper feeling that kept saying yes. That is what I listened to and used as my compass. I was resolved to following the inspiration and the resolve made the noise of my insecure thinking and emotional response to it negligible. Resolve felt different to me than willpower. It was simply a commitment to following something within me that was deeper than my emotional experience that goes up and down.

Relationship Learning on Steroids

As you may know, Angus and I used to have a tumultuous relationship. Fortunately, we came across an understanding that helped us to connect more deeply with our true nature. This helped us to become more resilient and take each other’s behavior less personally. This made our relationship more graceful and benefitted us so much when we went into business together.

We went from marriage partners to business partners. This required that we work more effectively as a team. We went through the bumpiness of coming into one accord regarding business finances, projects, and timing. The timing was the bumpiest. I tend to want to do things faster. Angus tends to be more cautious and deliberate. And we found that there were strengths in each of our approaches. Through listening to each other and being willing to find common ground we were able to mine those strengths rather than fall into the pitfalls of each of our weaknesses. What helped us most here was deep listening and a willingness to allow our emotional reactivity to pass when it would arise and continue with the conversation. Again resolve was important. We were resolved to find solutions that worked for both of us where neither one of us felt compromised. This is different than the ego not liking it. Sometimes the common ground we agreed on left one of us feeling uncomfortable, but we were clear it was not a compromise, but rather healthy growing pains.

And then to kick it up a notch we went from business partnership to creative partnership. This brought our differences into an even sharper focus and resulted in conversations where I thought Angus was throwing in the towel because he found me impossible to work with. What we learned is to recognize when our low moods were talking. When my low mood is talking I become critical and impatient. When his low mood is talking he becomes frustrated and blocked.

If we weren’t hip to what was going on we could waste hours of valuable recording time trying to work out problems that didn’t exist. We got better at seeing this when it was happening in real-time, and our wisdom gave us the simple solution of taking more breaks to avoid this and definitely take a break if one of us dropped into a low state of mind. Because of our resolve as soon as we stabilized internally we were able to get on with the work. On a particularly bad day, Angus and I wasted a whole afternoon talking because I thought he was throwing in the towel. When we finally realized what was going on we took a break and decided to not lose the momentum and we finished the work we had planned for that day in a couple of hours that evening.

You might say, “What kind of relationship experts are you to be doing a podcast about relationships when you go through all of this?”

And I would say, “We are not relationship experts. We are relationship guides and we walk the same human experience that our clients do. We have a fantastic marriage of over 25 years that keeps getting better on all levels, but there aren’t many treacherous trails that we have been down ourselves and may continue to find ourselves on. We do not profess to have everything figured out, but we do believe that what we have learned a lot and what we do see is valuable and helpful to others.

It takes a team

This is perhaps my biggest lesson.

I grew up as an only child. I wouldn’t say that I didn’t play well with others, but I wasn’t used to being a team player. I barely played any sports when growing up because I was so uncoordinated. I was definitely the last pick for the team in PE.
This all had to change when saying yes to the project of the Rewilding Love podcast. This project didn’t just require Angus and me to create it together. It also required a larger team to help us produce and promote it.

One big lesson I learned is I am a better leader and visionary than a manager. This is humbling to someone who used to believe she should be able to do it all. But it has been fun to take on a project that was bigger than me. And although I am on a learning curve of knowing when to delegate and when to step in, I know it is an important one. I don’t want to limit myself to what I can do myself anymore. Life reveals to me in many ways how we are stronger together, and I am reminded of the African proverb “If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

The power of groups is being shown to me in the Rewilding Guide Practitioner Training and in the Rewilding Community. We are stronger together. Individual transformation, healing, and awakening in consciousness are amplified in the group experience.

Why would making a podcast be any different?

There are some heartfelt acknowledgments to be made for our team who have been incredible throughout this process. Each one of you has been amazing at jumping in and flowing with the group. The oneness constantly revealed itself.

Thank you:

Lee Bjarnason for helping to birth the rewilder vision at our dining room table in Topanga. You have been there from the beginning. You are a genius at nurturing creativity and ideas. You helped to create the space of possibility that brings out the best in people. You have taught me a lot about patience as well.

Greg Ellis your musical genius took our podcast to a whole other level. Thank you for allowing us to use your music. Not only are you a master percussionist but your sounds are organic and healing. There is a whole other level of impact and healing the listeners will experience through the work you have done with your RhythmPharm tonics.

Avalon Mackenzie, you are an art director extraordinaire! You jumped into the spirit of the team and collaboration and took leadership with your vision. We love what you have created for us and look forward to ongoing collaborations.

Lainie Barrett thank you for jumping into this start-up based on your belief in our mission. I know it has been like trying to drink out of a fire hose lately, but I promise it will get better. Thank you for your willingness to support what you felt is important to get out into the world with your writing and marketing talents.

Azul Leguizamon, you have an incredible gift for seeing the big picture and project management. You put my organizational skills to shame. And you are a gifted writer and translator too as well as a teacher. You are a renaissance woman!

Akasha Ross, thank you for being interested in working with your parents. You wanting to be part of our work makes me very happy. You are a force of nature with strong aesthetics, a keen visual eye, and mad organizational skills. We are lucky to meet your high standards for participation.

Rewilding Community.  You are family! Thank you for how generously you share of yourselves and your humanity. I learn so much from you sharing your wisdom. And am constantly moved by the love and kindness shared in the group. Who knew that a pandemic would bring us together! Looking forward to continuing to grow and get stronger together!

Our first three episodes will be available tomorrow, Tuesday, November 24th! We hope you enjoy them! If you do, please subscribe and leave a review on apple podcasts so more people can find us and learn how to rewild their relationships.

Rohini Ross is co-founder of  “The Rewilders.” Listen to her podcast, with her partner Angus Ross, Rewilding Love.  They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Rohini and Angus co-facilitate private couples’ intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and she and Angus are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about her work and subscribe to her blog visit: TheRewilders.org

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