As a Lifestyle Designer, Spiritual Teacher, Social Media Influencer, and trauma survivor with many certifications up my sleeve from NLP, EFT, hypnotherapy and more, I’ve done enough healing and personal development to know that my story, passion, and gifts, aren’t meant to be kept quiet.
I’m here to speak louder.
And, with great purpose comes great responsibility, and sometimes my potential terrifies me. We’re told for so long that it’s not okay to shine bright, to speak your truth or to break the rules; what makes me think that I can go out there and do that so eloquently without criticism and hate?
Well the truth is…I can’t. To allow myself to shine fully means to subject myself to the criticism, judgement, dislikes, poor comments and unfollows. That’s just part of the game, and that requires some thick skin. Therefore, sometimes when I see my success really pouring in, I just want to hide. When life gets too good, I tear it all down.
Yep, I’m a professional self sabotager.
Throughout my life I’ve been known to self-sabotage friendships, jobs, repeated romantic relationships, my finances many times, my career over and over again, and even fun opportunities that have been meant to be enjoyed.
As a professional self-sabotager, I’ve come to know it very well, which in return means I’ve also become an expert in quitting the self-sabotage and supercharging your worthiness, which I do in one of my digital courses Enough.
Here’s 3 easy steps to let go of self-sabotage in 10 minutes or less:
1. The first step to busting past self sabotage is to recognize that you are in fact self-sabotaging.
So ask yourself:
- In what areas are you settling for less than you deserve?
- Do you quit or give up on things easily?
- What if you get the thing you desire…do you suddenly change or mind or decide it’s not what you truly want for some reason?
- Cause conflict for no reason or behave in a way, which then makes you lose that person, place,or thing?
Also ask:
What areas of your life do you see yourself actively and repeatedly getting the same, undesired result? Relationships? Finances? Career? Health? All the above?
Get specific and list out the specific times you have found yourself in the same place over and over again, when you expected a different result.
2. Once you have become aware of your self sabotaging patterns, the next step is to understand the self sabotage.
- Where does this self sabotaging pattern come from?
The subconscious mind is responsible for preserving the body, storing memories, repressing memories and much more. Therefore identifying the patterns of self sabotage must be done on a subconscious level which has to do with our programming. The thing that people don’t know about repressed memories and our programming is that by age 7 we have already been “programmed” with certain memories subconsciously imprinted into our brains, which then drive the way we act, think, and feel, on a daily basis for the rest of our lives unless we were to rewrite these stories.
There are many techniques that can be done to tap into the subconscious mind to see where the patterns come from for those who are “blocked” or unaware, such as TIME techniques and other NLP practices, however simply sitting in meditation or journaling can often help you identify where this particular subconscious behaviour came from. Allow yourself to get curious, and the answer will usually appear. It may come instantly, or take a day or two, but if you are ready and willing to release the self sabotaging behaviour the subconscious mind will remind you of the repressed memory and bring it to your conscious mind so that you can then move forward and break free from it.
3. This leads us to the last and final step, rewriting self sabotage into success!
Once you are aware of the self sabotage you can then release it. This can be done in a variety of ways from meditations, affirmations, hypnotherapy, tapping and TIME Techniques. TIME techniques happens to be one of my favorite and most effective, which I perform with my clients in a one off breakthrough session. However you don’t need to work with a professional to see results, here’s what you can do to take the first step to releasing the self sabotage.
After you’ve identified the self sabotaging pattern and where it’s come from in steps one and two, ask yourself the following…
- What negative consequences have occurred in your life as a result of this behaviour?
- Who will you hurt, what will you lose, where will you be in 5/10/20+ years from now, if you continue to allow this behaviour to run your life?
- Is it alright with you, to allow your subconscious mind to let go of this behaviour and be consciously aware of it? (This better be a HELL YES, otherwise you’ve got some more digging to do)
- Great!! So, how would you like to feel instead? Declare your new desired and empowered state and behaviour that takes place next time you find yourself in a position where in the past you would have self sabotaged, but this time you….?
The trick is to really sit with each of these questions, close your eyes, and FEEL it. Feel how bad it gets if you don’t change it…and also feel the beauty and freedom that occurs in your life if you were to release the self sabotaging behaviours.
If you liked this, and you’re wanting more, I provide a free tutorial on my website to release self sabotage. The free video will guide you through the various techniques listed above, to walk your through these three steps.