I once had a coach tell me I shouldn’t be struggling with something I was going through because I was a mindset (alignment) coach….
I heard the words and for a moment they felt familiar. You are supposed to do better. You can’t fail again. You need to get a hold of yourself. All those things I used to tell myself and sometimes still catch myself mid-sentence saying before I bid them farewall and claim my power again Oh but how that took time. Soon after he said that and the lies I used to tell myself were quieted his words seemed to bounce off of me. At first I was mad. What the fuck? Who are you to tell me how I am supposed to feel? And then I was insulted. Are you REALLY going to try to use that played out technique on me? Who do you think I am? Then as I allowed that to process the truth came to the surface…those words didn’t belong to me. That was his fear. That was how he controlled his world. That was his guilt. That was his shit!
There was a time when that would have made me question myself and probably been quiet and looked to prove who I was. For so long I allowed my voice to go unheard because I was more worried about how other people felt than how I felt. I was so much more willing to believe other people about who I was and what was best for me. On the flip side, I allowed others to tell me that I felt too deeply or not deeply enough, that I was too sensitive, talked too much, was too much this or not enough that. That I wasn’t right in some way. Those days are long gone yet I continue to be a work in progress. I am an evolving perfectly imperfect mess like everyone else. The difference is that I love and accept me at a different level now.
Oh and did I mention that this tactic is based in fear? Ya, fear used to drive me so it made sense it landed like it did. I used to move out of fear more than I’d like to admit. And marketers are taught to use this technique to woo you and keep you engaged. They push on pain to make you move. Crazy huh? Well probably not news to you. Yet the point I am making here is that we STILL move even when we know what it is sometimes. We still let our imperfections scare us into conforming or holding on to things and people we just don’t need.
I am far from perfect. In fact I am perfectly imperfect. I am super sensitive. I love hard. I fall to pieces. I lose my way. Then I dance in the shower. I remember my awesome. I find my light. I find my love. And I find my way. Every. Single. Time. My comeback game is strong even though it may take time sometimes. It is not about the fall. It is always about the rise. The journey up to the good stuff. What it looks like to others is none of my business and I have learned to keep it that way.
If you have anyone in your life that Is committed to misunderstanding you, doesn’t believe in you or inspire you or wants to TRY to make you feel inadequate because they do…release them with love. Life is too short and beautiful for that nonsense. Be unapologetically YOU my friends and give zero fucks what that looks like to anyone else.