Burnout, the story, where does it start? That is what I’m trying to figure out now. As the mother of two little girls Freya 4 and Harlow 2 I’m constantly thinking of what made me into the person I am? What was instilled in me at a young age and what was my environment on the way? What was necessary and what could I have avoided?
Im 35 years old and for the first time Im taking time to think on my own.
My story started as a swimmer at a very young age, world cups, and college athletic scholarships in America whilst getting bachelor degrees and an MBA. Straight off to a management position, back home to Sweden to take over my dad’s company at the age of 29. Having my first child at just over 30 and bringing a 2-week-old baby to a board meeting- it seemed normal?
Before maternity leave with little Harlow (in Sweden we are blessed with a full year of that) I decided that this has to change. I had never had a break ever and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do, I had a deep longing and passion for something else. Something more rewarding, a lifestyle I can be proud of for my kids, a place of compassion for humanity and the environment. I bought my then unborn daughter a stuffed animal- a little bunny that I named “dreams”- to remind myself that every time I saw her with it I owed it to her, her sister and myself to figure out how I wanted to live my life.
This was the beginning of a new journey; I started, together with my husband, our own company Yuhme. Where we develop products from renewable resources and use the “one for one” business model to give back clean water to those in need.
But back to burnout- did I quit my other job? No! So I have now spent the last 2 years with my husband running 3 companies, and even though I had found my passion I still thought I was invincible. Im going to be honest and say that at the birth of my second daughter my life did change a lot, I meditate, I sleep more, I go to yoga classes & massages. Im mindful and I understand but as I found my passion, the speed of life started to pick up again.
At the beginning of this year we were on holiday in Dubai and I was at the gym unable to lift a pound. My body shut down aching like it never had before, I had this incredible pain in my joints and muscles, and felt an enormous amount of tiredness. For the first time in my life my body wasnt doing what I told it to do, and it was a big wake up call. Then and there I decided that this had to change. Arriving back in Sweden I informed the owners and the board of the company Im working for that I would be selling my shares and stepping down as the CEO.
So where does this leave me? A lot of the time these stories have some kind of ending but mine is just beginning. 2018 for me is scary and exciting! For the first time I can try to live life on my own terms. No employees or employers- just me, my family, my desires, dreams, and a new way of life.