How Values Help You Understand Who You Are

When you were younger, did you ever get asked to sit down with anyone to evaluate what you truly value at the core of who you are? If you did, did you get to do that with your parents or mentors? And, how young were you? Was it before you went to college? If you’re like most of […]

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When you were younger, did you ever get asked to sit down with anyone to evaluate what you truly value at the core of who you are?

If you did, did you get to do that with your parents or mentors? And, how young were you? Was it before you went to college?

If you’re like most of us, that didn’t happen.

Instead, you probably were slightly coerced into valuing things as you grew up that matched what your parents thought you should value based on their assumptions and traditions of living life (maybe with an or else attached)?

In fact, this is often carried over into starting a business. If you’re a business owner, did you sit down and write out your purpose in this business and what values it must carry into the world?

Regardless, if we’re talking about life or a company, getting to the core and what values are necessary to create joy needs to be methodically thought out and deeply understood.

For me, as a child, I never had anyone to sit down with to talk about what I’m passionate about, or how to even evaluate me, let alone be taught how to look at my core value system. That is, not until my early 20s after some interesting choices I made that led me down some chaotic paths. It was then that I started to figure it out for myself.

But, later on, I got even more clear on my values once I sat down, understood how a life guide can help you discuss the future, and then found the right kind of therapist to discuss my past. I have found that this is the case for the majority of people. The issue we face as a human race is that it’s incredibly rare to see or hear about children that get formally sat down and allowed to explore what makes them really tick; not what their family or others around them dictate for them.

A solution would be to insert life strategy sessions into a child’s informative years as they reach high school. This can be done through integrated school programs, or the right life guides (aka life coaches) working with parents. This would allow the intuitive value system to come alive within each child early on, which could then cause a ripple effect of massive benefits and empower them to find their purpose earlier in life.

In regard to those that own or are starting a business, in my now 20-year career working with companies, I see more often than not that a thorough plan around the VALUES a business should hold is not there. Especially, as it relates to the vision of the founder and how that is relayed in the early stages to all leaders within the company. That phase is often missed completely.

It’s the same in our lives. Many of us struggle with uncovering purpose in our lives and staying true to who we are. Or, not even able to answer the question ‘who are you’ when someone asks that at a networking event. It’s incredibly easy to get caught up in what someone else thinks we should do or say. This can move us down paths on our journey that go against what we value, and causes so much confusion, depression, unhappiness, and, most of all, a life filled with regrets. It’s a basis of suffering.

There is a way to get on track. I call it a Life Progression Map (or for companies, I do a Business Progression Map) and the intent is to go through three stages of building out a strategy:

  1. Evaluate your core values. What do you value? What lies at the core? Then evaluate where you’re at today as it relates to your core values. This is the reality of the business or life situation you’re in at this moment in time.
  2. Map out your Ultimate Vision. Where do you WANT to get to? What is the ultimate desire you keep dreaming about? What is that vision? Write it all down. 
  3. Write out your goals and tactics. These are the goals that can get you to your Ultimate Vision. They must be broken down into the tiniest of details to help you understand HOW to get there. And, I’m talking about an inch-by-inch goal setting plan. We often take on WAY too much and once and then when we fail at hitting one goal, it goes downhill from there. 

What that means is that you must quiet the mind, stop for a while to write, listen to what your intuition says, and feel what your heart is saying to you. You must shut out everyone else to make this happen. This process is about you and you alone, and you must ensure to not let anyone else, or yourself, judge your thoughts or censor your beliefs and outcomes. This is an authentic process to dig deep as that is exactly what it takes to help awaken that vibrant purpose that you’re meant to live! And, you deserve that life!

So, the question is, are you ready to take that next step?

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