Community//

How to take care of your heart after a breakup 

The truth is that breakups suck big time. There is no short cut to healing after a breakup and you have to go through the ups and downs  They are very painful and oftentimes messy. Unfortunately, the only way to get over the pain is to go through it. But there are certain things you […]

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Breakup And Divorce Concept. Depressed black man holding gold wedding ring in hand while his wife leaving him, selective focus
Breakup And Divorce Concept. Depressed black man holding gold wedding ring in hand while his wife leaving him, selective focus

The truth is that breakups suck big time. There is no short cut to healing after a breakup and you have to go through the ups and downs 

They are very painful and oftentimes messy. Unfortunately, the only way to get over the pain is to go through it. But there are certain things you can do to heal your heart after a breakup. 

  1. Set boundaries

Sometimes after a breakup, it can feel very overwhelming to explain what happened to close family and friends over and over again. While you may want to inform them of the news, it takes a lot to manage your emotions and their reactions. 

Therefore, the first thing you want to do is to set boundaries around the breakup and kindly ask people to give you space and time to process the event. 

This will protect you from reliving the pain of the breakup and allow you to grieve.

2) Allow yourself time to grieve/ heal

It is proven that the emotional pain following a breakup activates the same parts of the brain as physical pain. Meaning that the pain may feel just as real as a broken leg.

Therefore, you need to acknowledge the loss and show yourself some grace if things don’t seem to go as smoothly as you are used to. There will be days when you feel like you are doing okay and then other days when your emotions take over and wear you down. 

So, be kind and patient with yourself.

3) Use your support system

Whenever you go through a breakup it is important to surround yourself with people that love and care for you. 

Lean on friends and family that give you space to be vulnerable and allow you to experience your emotions and feelings, without judgment. 

It is important to choose people who truly support you and don’t expect you to get over your ex prematurely. While they might mean well, their encouragement and pressure will be misplaced if you are not ready to receive it. 

4) Change up your life

One of the reasons why a breakup hurts so much is because we now have to deal with the physical absence of the person. Little habits, such as good morning texts and Friday movie nights now drive you down memory lane and inflict emotional pain.

Therefore, disrupting your patterns and changing up your daily routine will shake up your life and help you establish a new normal. 

You can try minor changes, such as asking a friend to stay over for a few days or bigger changes, such as taking a trip to detach from familiar surroundings.

Anything you can do to shake up the routine you had with your ex, will help you heal after the breakup. 

5) Remove all reminders of your ex

This step is probably the hardest for most people. However, disconnecting yourself from your ex on social media and asking their family and friends for space as you grieve is crucial. 

That will help you avoid crafting a storyline of “what ifs” and allow you to accept that the relationship is over. 

In order to move on from your ex, you have to focus on the present and avoid holding on to the past. By removing all reminders of them, you stop fantasizing about your ex and can move forward with your life. 

Breakups are tough, but your heart will eventually heal. Taking care of your well-being after a breakup will improve the experience and speed up the healing process. 

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