Why don’t they get it!? You want your significant other to hang out with you more, spend more time talking with you, and do more things with you. Yet, all they do is buy you flowers in hopes of gaining your favor. Flowers are nice and all, but they’re just not cutting it.
You’re not seeing eye to eye, and that is a huge issue.
There is one simple, yet widely unknown reason behind this. Everyone you know speaks different love languages.
While giving flowers is a way to give love, it may not be the way that someone receives love, and so the gesture is lost on them. Everyone gives and receives love primarily in 1 of 5 ways. When we don’t know which of these “languages” our loved ones speaks, it can be difficult to make them happy, though we may try in various ways.
This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. You can apply what you know about love languages to your interaction with any other human that you want to show love to! Family, friends, and colleagues are all human, and therefore all respond the best to one of these languages.
Before you get started learning about the 5 ways to communicate love to others, first make sure you love yourself.
Without further adieu, the 5 love languages, and how to speak them.
Acts of Service
Did you know that vacuuming the house can be a token of love? If you speak this language, then you’re probably screaming, “Of course it does!”
If your significant other always fixing your car, adjusting things around your house, and offering to help you out with chores, this is their love language! To people who speak the love language of acts of service, love is best given and received as gestures of assistance.
To them, love is action and helpfulness; they want someone who will offer aid and do things for them without asking.
To best show them love:
- Ask them what you can do for them, and then do it.
- Secretly do items on their to do list to lighten their load.
- Offer help when you see them struggling with something.
Words of Affirmation
To some, words are empty. But to others, they’re everything.
If you ask someone whose love language is acts of service how much a “you’re beautiful” matters to them, they’ll say “not much, why don’t you help me wash these dishes instead?”
But, to someone who speaks the language words of affirmation, hearing little pleasantries from their significant other means the world to them! They want to know that you think well of them, and seek the verbal confirmation of this.
To best show them love:
- Offer sincere, specific compliments to them.
- Tell them often that you love and appreciate them.
- Affirm them daily with phrases like “I believe in you” or “You’re so smart, you can do anything!”
Physical Touch
While people who speak this language may regard intimacy with more reverence, physical touch is not a euphemism for sex.
If your loved one speak this language, they may be barnacle-esque. Is your significant other always glued to you, wanting to hold your hand, always having to maintain contact? If so, this is their language.
These people do not seek to smother, this is just how they love. To them, physical contact is love.
To best show them love:
- Give them hugs and snuggles all the time.
- Hold their hand whenever you can.
- Rub their back when you are waiting in line or sitting together.
Quality Time
Remember the example in the intro? People who speak this language don’t want gifts, they don’t want cuddles, they don’t want things done for them, and they don’t want kind words. They want your time!
And simply being in their presence doesn’t count. They want your undivided attention, they want you to be engaging with them.
To these people, time is the most precious thing that you can give someone. If you’re not giving them your time, then they will quickly feel that they are unimportant to you.
To best shown them love:
- Carve out time in your schedule to see them.
- Put away your electronics when you’re with them, ensuring to listen and respond to them.
- Let them know when you’re busy, so that they don’t feel neglected/unimportant, when in reality, you’re swamped with work.
Giving Gifts
These people would have been *elated* to have received the flowers I mentioned in the intro. It’s not that they’re materialistic, but rather, that they see tokens as a currency of love.
People who speak this language are always giving little things to the people that they love, and are overly ecstatic to receive anything from anyone. Remember: the gifts don’t have to be bought! A cool rock from a place you visited is more than sufficient.
To best show them love:
- Acquire little trinkets wherever you go that reminds you of them, and give to them.
- Surprise them with gifts regularly.
- Wear and use the gifts that they present you with, so that they know you value them.
Once you identify the love language your loved one speaks, you can much more easily communicate love to them, resulting in a happier, more fulfilling relationship on both ends.
Originally published at blissful-bohemian.com