Toxicity is a trait that blind-sights us so well that we’re unable to see the wrong environment and situation we’ve put ourselves in. Toxicity comes in many forms, but one of the most toxic feelings I have come across from is the presence of a few family and friends. Perhaps the worst part is that I blamed myself for all the chaos and destruction they caused. All along, they were the ones causing it. I came across this really funny but true quote that made me realize it’s time to get rid of toxic people, regardless of the relationship you share with them. “Toxic people will pollute everything around them. Don’t hesitate. .Fumigate.’’ – Mandy Hale.
When you start blaming yourself for everything that goes wrong in a relationship, it can affect you mentally. This is a major sign that you’re part of a toxic relationship. Sadly, both family and friends can turn out to be toxic, and while it’s hard to cut them off right away, you must know how to deal with them. This way, their presence won’t affect you mentally. To help you out, I’ve mentioned a few things about dealing with toxic friends and family.
1. Identify If They Are the Issue
If you’ve made the slightest guess that your friends or family behave in a way that’s toxic around you, ask yourself three questions. Do you like being affiliated with them? Do you want the behavior to stop? Would you like an apology for the way they’re treating you? Answer these questions one by one, and you will find clarity as to what you should do next.
2. Talk to Them
Having a conversation with a toxic person and explaining how they are the problem is one of the most exhausting things to do. Toxic people usually never accept that they might be wrong. Rather, they blame it on you or other factors. Nevertheless, express how you feel about your relationship and how it’s affecting you.
There is no need to be loud or rude, as dealing with it in a rational way is ideal. If they understand how you feel and admit to their mistakes, it means that they really care about you and are going through a bad phase. If they can’t seem to acknowledge that what they’re doing is wrong, then it’s a major red flag.
3. Limit Contact
You can try limiting your contact with toxic friends and family members by texting and meeting them less. Learn to say no even if you feel like you’re rude. This is the smoothest way for you to take a step back. It also gives the other person a cue that you need some space and that they should understand. Limiting your contact will automatically help you realize how much you’re in need of mental peace. Knowing that you don’t have to deal with their toxicity on a daily basis can be comforting.
Sometimes, completely cutting off a toxic friend or family member because of their behavior is hard, but it’s the only choice you’re left with. A break from them may be just what you need to rebuild that relationship. This break will also make you realize each other’s mistakes. In the meantime, focus on yourself, and find fun things to do.