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How Do You Know if You Need to Make a Change in Your Life?

The realization that I was living a life I no longer wanted

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It’s Really Not That Bad:

Sometimes you KNOW things need to change, but there are other times that things are not how you imagined them, or how you thought they would be, nor how you want them to be but you just continue through because it’s not that bad. You remind yourself I should be grateful but inside you feel ‘this isn’t the life I thought it would be’.  Or maybe I am the only one who felt this way?

A Day in the Life I no Longer Wanted: 

I remember thinking this isn’t what I expected as I laid down after my full day of work, along with taking care of two kids, being pregnant with my third and again having no time for me. This can’t be it, I guess I didn’t know what I thought it would be like, I just didn’t think it would be like this.  It felt like I spent my whole day giving to others, pleasing others, and not in a way that felt good but in a way that felt like an obligation.

This is what a day in my old life looked like…

Wake up already tired
First thing check phone/e-mails
Already feel behind
Getting everyone else ready 
Get kids where they need to be
Start working (huge to-do list) – go to e-mail
Barely take any breaks, multiple calls, eat at desk or work through lunch, meetings add more actions
Get “done” with work for the day, family time, make dinner, homework, play with kids, get things ready for tomorrow, get kids bathed and ready for bed (limited help)
Go back to my computer finish what didn’t get done (which could go on forever)
Finally get ready for bed at a time far past a decent bedtime
Lay in bed feeling exhausted but run through what I didn’t get done today and what needs to be done tomorrow
Wake-up do it again, over and over and over
My Old Life

The feelings from these days were exhaustion, feeling drained and overwhelmed, stressed, guilt, irritation, frustration, and no time for me. Of course, there were happy times, but they were typically brought on by external events – coffee, getting my nails done, buying a new pair of shoes, and fun times with family or friends. My health was also sometimes impacted by these overloaded days, when my body would get so tired, I would get a sinus infection, sometimes this happened monthly. I, of course, would work through the sinus infection because who has time to slow down, right?  

How I Knew I Needed to Make a Change:  

I knew for a while I wanted to make changes in my life, but honestly, I didn’t know where to start and I thought I don’t have the time to take on anything else. I knew it would take time away from what I needed to get done and I didn’t even have enough time to do those things! 

Insert the Universe making changes for me… sometimes in life we have to go through difficult situations in order for us to make the changes needed. That is exactly what happened to me! The Universe gave me a gift wrapped in sandpaper as my coach Lisa Nichols would say. This difficult situation turned into a miracle that caused me to make the changes. 

Here are a few things I learned about making changing in my life…

  1. I am not going to magically gain more time to make changes – I need to create the time
  2. I am not going to magically start changing if I don’t make the commitment to change – I need to make the commitment 
  3. I am not going to magically learn what I need without investing the time in me – I need to invest in myself

My New Lifestyle:

Over the last couple years my personal growth journey has been incredible. I have taken many classes, courses, gone to school, read 60+ self-improvement books, received hours upon hours of coaching and healing, and attended a 7-day retreat by myself – that was amazing.  All of these helped me rediscover myself and my purpose.

Since that time my days look like this… 

Wake up earlier to create time for myself
Spend 20-45 min in meditation 
Feel accomplished – Already spent time on myself!
Enabling my kids to be self-sufficient
Get kids where they need to be
Spend time in the morning going through top priorities
Create calendar events to allow for breaks, utilize mindfulness, work like there is no later
At the end of the workday reflect and prioritize what was accomplished and what needs to get done tomorrow. Stop working until the next day.
Be present with kids, have help with bedtime activities, enable kids to do things on own   
Spend time doing something I love 
Go to bed feeling accomplished 
Wake-up feeling refreshed 
A Day in My Life Now

Now I feel like there is time for me because I create time for me. I make myself a priority, which in the beginning was difficult for everyone involved. Sometimes it still is difficult but I know that I am a better mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, and employee when I put myself first. 

Have a Starting Destination…

I have realized to get to where I want to go, I need to know where I am. Imagine putting a destination into Waze or Google Maps, you always have a starting location, then from there you take a journey to your destination. You can’t get to where you are going if you don’t know where you are. 

Here are a few questions to set your starting location:

  1. What in my life do I want to change?
  2. What am I willing to do to change these things?
  3. What do I want in my life instead?
  4. What am I willing to do to create the life I want?

Remember this is about you! When making changings in your life, focus on you, what you want, what you desire, what makes you happy!  

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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