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Here’s why you should choose your intentions carefully

Your intention creates your reality.

No one undertakes research in physics with the intention of winning a prize. It is the joy of discovering something no one knew before.

~ Stephen Hawking

Do you ever wonder why your emotions or your effectiveness flip-flops ?

Here’s what I mean:

  • Sometimes you really enjoy yourself at a party. Other times, you leave disappointed and triggered.
  • Sometimes you experience immense joy cooking and preparing a meal for friends and loved ones. Other times, you feel resentment.
  • Sometimes you are energized by the challenge of work. Other times you are exhausted and depleted.

Well, I was reflecting on that and have few personal lessons I’d like to share.

When I looked at my own experiences, the difference between my successes and failures wasn’t what I did, how much time I’ve put in, how hard I worked, or how much I’ve sacrificed.

It was my intention.

It was my intentions that determined whether I succeeded or failed.

My different intentions were to:

  • Have fun playing vs. “win” at all cost
  • Be helpful vs. be right
  • To serve vs. be recognized
  • Voice my truth vs. validate my truth
  • Make myself proud vs. prove myself
  • Follow my joy vs. wait to feel joy
  • Trust in my deep knowing vs. over-analyze
  • Heal vs. act strong
  • Follow my path vs. achieve
  • Love vs. be loved

Here are the 3 lessons that I’ve experienced to be true.

Lesson #1: Your Intention Manifests Physically

The first thing that occurs when you have an intention is that the universe conspires to help you get it.

The first thing that occurs when you have an intention is that the universe conspires to help you get it.

That’s great, Paulo Coelho, but how does this happen?

Everything in your life is created by a decision you made at one point – who you partner with, what you do for work, where you live.

As the spiritual teacher and author Gary Zukav (and one of Oprah’s favorite people demonstrated by him being on her show 34 times!) described in his book “The Seat of the Soul,” each of your decisions are based on your attitude of the universe, other people and yourself. The experiences that were created by each of your decisions further shape your attitudes.

Ultimately, your decisions reflect your attitudes and your attitudes reflect your decisions. Therefore, your intentions create your reality.

As an example, if you you’re in a tense work meeting or in a heated argument with your partner and you change your intention from “being right” to “being helpful,” your attitude about your situation will shift, thereby changing what you do and how you respond. It’s worth mentioning that if you were to change your intention in the opposite direction – from “being helpful” to “being right,” it’s easy to imagine how that also will shift the vibe in the room very quickly!

If you believe the universe is on your side, then you believe things are happening for you all the time (rather than to you). But if your intention is resisting the good coming to you, you do not receive what you ultimately need.

Lesson #2: Intention Is Your North Star

One of the hardest things to do if you are ambitious and driven is to recognize when to double down versus when to call it quits.

But with clear intentions, you will know when to try harder versus recognizing that the chapter has ended.

Take an example of a relationship.

Maybe you’re in a relationship where you waffle between good days and rocky days.

And one day you find yourself at a crossroads. You think, “do I nurture this relationship even more or do I call it quits?”

This is a very difficult question to answer unless you clearly know your intention.

Is your intention for this relationship to:

  • Have fun
  • Build a life
  • Grow old
  • Avoid being lonely
  • Be supportive
  • Be supported
  • Heal
  • Learn to love
  • Love unconditionally
  • Connected spiritually
  • Climb to the top of the social ladder
  • Become a better person
  • Learn and grow together
  • Create exhilarating experiences
  • Create a relationship of envy for others
  • Create a family
  • Accumulate personal gains

By focusing on your intention, you will find clarity for whether you should invest more or pull out based on what’s important and driving you.

When you’re unclear about your intention, you become uncertain; You flip-flop; You’re easily influenced.

If you’re experiencing indecisiveness, it could be a signal that you need to look at your intention. You must know your intentions to know what you want and how to take action.

Lesson #3: Intention Changes You

The third lesson about intention is that it has the power to change who you are and how others see you in the world.

Take an example of a job.

How you dress, carry yourself, show up every day at work, communicate, collaborate or isolate yourself, go the extra mile, or job hop and call it quits – is driven by your intention.

Your relationship with your job, your colleagues, your boss and the workplace is going to be very different depending on your underlying intention to:

  • Learn and grow
  • Make top dollar
  • Pay bills
  • Support family
  • Leverage for a better job
  • Showcase talent
  • Give back to society
  • Make the planet a better place
  • Be the boss
  • Retire at 35
  • Retire at 75

How you view your job is the underlying driver of everything that you do or don’t do, say or don’t say, stay or leave.

Final Thoughts

The quality of your life can be determined and changed by the quality of your intention.

Your intentions can change over time, so revisit them from time to time.

What if you’re finding that your actions and decisions aren’t reflecting your intention? It could be that your unconscious intentions are stronger than your conscious ones. Gary Zukav warns, “If you’re not aware of your intentions, the strongest one will win.”


How has intention setting effected you or changed your situation? Please share below!

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