I often find myself reflecting on my teenage years, which doesn’t necessarily come as a surprise to me since those years have shaped both my mindset and my life. Yet, I’m still incapable of understanding the decisions and the choices I have made back then.
However, if I were to do it again, I wouldn’t change a thing.
Indeed, my story is the one where an ordinary guy has something extraordinary happen to him. Maybe it was supposed to happen. Maybe it was my karma, or whatever. But I know one thing for sure, I wouldn’t be who I am and where I am today if it weren’t for that…
What happened is that… I fell in love. That single event threw me on a path I never thought I would be walking, ever. Reflecting on it now, I couldn’t tell if it was true, genuine love or simply a lack of affection I desperately wanted to make up for…
Whatever it was, I believed and convinced myself that it was real. And it was the first time I ever experienced such a feeling.
Where It All Started
I was 11 years old, and she was all I could think about, day in and day out. I felt it all, the fear, the anxiety, the stress, the paranoïa… I spent my time overthinking, dwelling, and worrying about the outcome.
Luckily, on a sunny wednesday afternoon, a surge of unexpected courage made me go all in. I was, as I feared, rejected. It felt like my biggest nightmare came true. I’ll spare you the details and get straight to the point!
After a few weeks, I had my one defining moment: I refused to give up and I decided to stand up and try again!
I stayed hopeful. Therefore, I was determined to persist and persevere as long as I believed that there was a chance for it to work out with that one girl!
Three years passed, I had tried every trick in the book… it was time for me to move on. I vividly recall how hard and painful it was. For some reason I still ignore to this day, I stayed optimistic.
Despite being 14, I felt as if I was the same sad, shy, introverted kid who had little to no self-confidence at all.
Fast forward a few months, I decided to man up and meet another girl. Again… I got rejected. However, instead of 3 years, it only took me 7 months to get over this rejection. This is where my narrative truly starts!
I still craved the love and affection I lacked and needed. As a result, my highschool years have been a huge series of “conquests”.
It got to a point where my friends and I turned it all into a joke. They would often ask “What was number 12’s name again?” or say “I just saw number 18 passing by”…
Truth is, up until my junior year, I had been rejected more than 20 times… in a row! I had gotten used to it at that point. Surprisingly enough, by the end of that same year, I had my first ever success!
Yes, I was finally in a relationship! And although it did not last long, it was a huge win and a big turning point in my life.
Surprisingly enough, I had my second “yes” in a row, then a couple of failures in my senior year, followed by a big win. During my first year of college, I had 7 successes, most of which were in a row as well!
My intention is not to brag, of course. My aim is to share with you the incredible lessons that an emotionally unbalanced teenager has learned through cold hard rejection:
1 – There Is More To Success Than Meets The Eye
Things are never quite what they seem, we think we understand the world around us but we really only see the outside. Especially nowadays, when self-proclaimed “Gurus” are sugarcoating the path to success.
I have learned that, success, however you define it (health,wealth,love,happiness….), requires a tremendous amount of time, effort and sacrifice. There is no shortcut at all, which means that you have to face the challenges along your way and overcome them one by one.
You may think you are ready for a “breakthrough”, but it will almost always take more time than you’ve anticipated… and this is why you cannot afford to quit before seeing it through!
Ultimately, you will have to go through years of failure and rejection before finally getting that one defining year which changes everything. There is no overnight success, only hardwork and determination will help you triumph!
2 – Perfectionism Kills Success
The more I got rejected by all these girls, the more I understood that overthinking and dwelling won’t get me anywhere or worse, doing so could lead me to a certain failure.
I would spend hours and hours everyday trying to come up with the perfect words, the right moments to act, the ideal circumstances… and I would rehearse it all a thousand times, only to mess it all up and fail miserably.
Ironically, I wasn’t even intending on asking my first girlfriend out. She was completely out of my radar, and when the time came, I proceeded through sheer intuition and it worked!
Too many of you aspiring artists and entrepreneurs get crippled by perfectionism, rendering you incapable of taking action and pursuing your goals. Trust me, it only makes things worse. I know it sounds so cliché, but all you have to do is TAKE ACTION!
3 – Rejection Is The Solid Foundation Of Success
I’ve previously mentioned that if I were to go back, I would do it all over again without changing a single thing. No, I am not a masochist!
Actually, I am grateful for every single girl who rejected me as a teenager. Those years made me into who I am today. Most importantly, I was able to develop a relentless drive that fuels me while I’m in the process of chasing my dreams!
A few months ago, I started networking on the internet. I realized that 99% of individuals quit and give up on the pursuit of their goals. As for I, quitting has never been an option for me. It didn’t take me long to realize that my teenagehood had a lot to do with it…
My point is, stop fearing rejection and embrace it. I’m not implying that being disregarded is fun or entertaining. On the other hand, I can promise you that if you’re brave enough, rejection will take you to a place where fear and doubt cannot find you.
I genuinely hope that you’ve found value in my life’s story.
If I were to ask anything of you, please do not run away from rejection. Accept it, learn from it and let it strengthen your resolve.
Making it past the first couple of rejections may be painful, but you’ll come out of it a lot stronger than ever before!
You have my word on that.