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Grief Completely Changed Me

10 Things I want you to know about sibling loss.

I’m hurt. I’m torn. I’m grateful for love. Today marks a milestone. Not the type of milestone anyone wants to talk about. Today marks 10 years since my sister died. 10 years of ups and downs. 10 years of pain, joy, anger, happiness, sadness, and peace. Those mix of emotions is truly a mix that will have you wondering if you’re coming or going. Can you feel all of these in one day, YES! When you do…whew things hit differently.

Honestly, some days I feel like I am in a movie until I realize this is a true story. Damn Grief why?

6/13/2010 Grief and I met grief in the boxing ring and boy has it been a ride.

At the Inner Wealth Experience Oct 2019

“I have changed. Before life was looking at me and I was just existing. Now I am embracing life and appreciating it more”.

Two years after the loss of my sister I stayed angry. So angry that I lost my business, myself, and my marriage was on the rocks. Grief can shake your entire foundation and leave you to dry.

After losing my sister something came over me. Something that most sibling survivors go through. Knowing that the day your sibling died is the day you lost your parents. Our parents went through the hardest thing ever and that was losing a child.

I want to share with you 10 truths about sibling love, loss, and survival. We often are the forgotten mourners. Many of us have been ridiculed because we are grieving. As we suppress our feelings because we are taught and told to be the glue of the family our health can decline, our grief brain can become worse, and spiritually we become numb, stuck, and uninterested.

  1. WE MISS OUR SIBLINGS GUIDANCE.

2. WE FEEL GUILTY BECAUSE WE ARE STILL HERE.

3. WE FEEL INADEQUATE TO BE THE BEST SON/DAUGHTER, AUNT/UNCLE, OR THE BEST SIBLINGS TO OUR OTHER SIBLINGS.

4. WE FEEL EMPTY.

5. OUR ANXIETY RUNS HIGH BECAUSE WE ARE THINKING ABOUT OUR FUTURE WITHOUT THE REST OF OUR FAMILY.

6. WE GRIEVE OUR FUTURE. THE PLANS WE MADE ARE NOW VOIDED.

7. WE HURT WHEN WE ARE COMPARED TO OUR SIBLING.

8. WE FEEL INVISIBLE.

9. WE ARE HAVING A HARD TIME WATCHING OUR PARENTS GRIEVE.

10. KNOWING THAT ARE SIBLINGS WILL NOT AGE.

Whew! This is heavy. Not only on us but for those watching and wondering how they can help. How do we as sibling survivors move through this? How can our friends support us? How can we still feel joy after losing our sibling?

Recently I was featured on Grief Coach and we talked about how can a friend help a friend. Feel free to share with your support system. Sometimes they don’t reach out because they don’t know what do.

Sending so much love to the sibling survivors. We are in this together. Our grief is VALID. Our mourning journey is DIFFERENT. Our time of bereavement is NECESSARY.

REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Follow me on Instagram where you will get tips and truths about sibling grief. We have an upcoming event called Sibling Grief: The Missing Pieces hosted by From Grief to Grind and A Sibling To Love on July 11, 2020.

“I never knew the value of life until you took your last breath”.

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