Community//

Fighting a Narcissistic Parental Alienator

and beating her at her own game

Teeth. 

One of the ways the alienator tried desperately to control us was through something as simple as the kids’ teeth.

She’d set the stage perfectly for all of them to have difficulty with their teeth many years before now.  As ridiculous as it sounds, when they were very little, the alienator found a dentist who agreed to pull out the kids’ baby teeth.

That’s right.  Instead of letting the teeth fall out like normal children, the alienator had a dentist remove them.

And just as you can possibly imagine, this set the stage for the kids to have dental problems. 

It also set the stage for the alienator to try and control us.  Or so she thought.

Braces. 

The never-ending letters and fight over making us pay for braces.

Mariam’s teeth were by far the worst.  Her teeth grew sideways, on top of one another and at one point she looked like a shark with rows of teeth that made no sense. 

Despite our constant mantra that we have no money due to the unrelenting false accusations, court appearances and lies made by the alienator, she continued to press the issue.

But let’s face it.

It was a game to the alienator.

She didn’t care about Mariam getting braces. 

She cared about having control. 

She cared about trying to make us miserable.

She cared about winning.

Mariam was always a driven student and an incredible band performer.  The last 5 years she lived with us, her life revolved around band.  They practiced countless hours all year long and for that won first place in almost every single competition they entered. 

But the alienator was about being the boss.

And teeth were one of the things she felt she could control us with. 

This never-ending battle for the braces went on for many, many months.  She constantly tried to insinuate the GAL was urging her to schedule Mariam’s orthodontist appointment which was a total lie.

These conversations are between Jack and the alienator through Talking Parents.

12/2/2015 from the alienator:

… the childrens lawyer would like me to schedule mary an orthodontic appt to get an estimation for braces. You are also welcome to call and make this appt, and I can meet you there. Wednesday or Thursday work best for me. We like dr sharp in branson. I know she still has two baby teeth that probably will need to come out first. I believe they may be loose. I don’t have dr sharps number he is out of springfield.

The alienator isn’t getting the response she wanted from Jack, so she continues.

1/9/2016 from the alienator:

what day for may and dr. sharp for braces?

1/13/2016  from the alienator:

what day for the orthodontist?

1/15/2016 from the alienator:

The GAL requested that I make apt for orthodontist so that I could get estimation for her to have braces put on. I thought you would like to be involved with apt time. When mary has dentist apt you can also verify that mariam will need braces. Do you like Dr, Sharp for the orthodontist ? I will go ahead Monday the 18th of January and call Dr. Sharp’s office schedule apt if you give me your black out days.

1/20/2016 from the alienator:

Mariams apt with Dr.Sharp is February 17th at 400 the Branson Office on hwy 248 to evaluate her for braces.

Jack replies to the alienator:

I just called Dr. Sharp’s office. They said the “ballpark” minimum we’d be looking at for braces is $6400. They do not take Medicaid. I do not have $3200 for braces because of recent court costs incurred during the contempt case. As I stated the other day, braces are not a need but a want. Cheryl and I will let you know when we can afford them.

2/17/16 from the alienator:

dr sharp march 2 at 1:45 for consultation for braces.

———————————–

March 9, 2016 from the alienator’s attorney:

Dear Mr. Mefferd:

Mary’s dental issues are negatively affecting her view of herself and are interfering in her social and educational interactions. 

For example, Mariams irregular and extra teeth make playing her trumpet very uncomfortable.  Mariam cannot eat fresh fruit without cutting it first, especially apples.  One of her left lateral teeth is behind the rest of the row, making her teeth not meet properly.  Mariam also has a tooth on the top row of teeth that is growing up and to the inside of the roof of her mouth, nearly touching the roof.

Mary is so embarrassed about her looks that she refuses to smile in public.  You can imagine that someone who is afraid to smile is learning odd social coping mechanisms.

The alienator respectfully asks Mr. Mefferd to help her pay for Mariam’s orthodontic work. 

If Mr. Mefferd does not think that this is a necessary procedure, then please ask him to allow Ms. Alienator arranging these services on her own.

Sincerely,

The Alienator’s 5th Attorney

——————————–

We asked specifically what “odd coping social mechanisms” were but we never received an answer. 

The same day we received this letter, I checked the alienator’s Facebook page.  Very seldom did the alienator post anything, especially when it came to the kids.  But this day was different.  This day she was making a point and giving us the middle finger.

The girl that “refuses to smile in public” is smiling in public for the camera and has her picture posted on her mother’s Facebook page. 

During the time the alienator was pressuring us to pay for braces, I’d gotten Mariam on a waiting list through a program called “Smiles Change Lives.”  This program, if accepted, provided braces at a very discounted rate. 

We were on the waiting list for over a year however on July 19, 2016, Mariam received her braces through the program!

Ironically, when it came time for the alienator to cough up $315 for her half of the braces and application fee, she had many excuses.

These are messages from the alienator through Talking Parents after Mariam received her braces for $630.

7/23/2016 from the alienator:

I will leave all judgments to the judge regarding money exchange for braces…I am glad mariam has her braces on.

7/29/2016 from the alienator:

…And I do have a monthly budget I have to stick with I cant pay asap unless emergency. I will help pay when I figure budget for august

7/30/2016 from the alienator:

I will work it into my budget for their needs.

8/22/2016 from the alienator:

I have done my budget and I just cannot afford braces at this time I will be sure and let you know when I can afford to help pay for braces.

9/28/2016 from the alienator:

I cannot afford to help you with the kids right now

To date, the alienator has never paid us $315 for her half of the braces she was so desperate to get onto Mariam’s teeth.

Cheryl Mefferd is the founder of Parental Alienation Speaks, a nonprofit organization committed to bringing awareness to the world and hope to the parentally alienated. She is also a contributing writer for Stepparent Magazine and Medium.

Picture provided by Rainier Ridao

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres. We publish pieces written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Learn more or join us as a community member!
Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Well-Being//

Grandma the Other One

by Dr. Judy Yaron
Community//

The Direct and Possibly Dangerous Ties Between Your Health and What’s Being Put in Your Mouth: A Take on Metal Free Dentistry by Dr. Grace

by Sergio Centeno
Community//

A lifetime of toothless fear…

by Ruth Pearce

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.