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Everybody Has A Back Story

Keeping Perspective While on Your Own Journey

Have you ever had one of those days when it seems that everyone else has it all together? You find yourself staring at images and readings posts that make your own life seem small. On those vulnerable days, it’s easy to feel that somehow you are doing something wrong or are just way behind everybody else. 

But, from my experience as a coach and therapist, the outside of someone does not always reflect the inside.

It is the rare few who have not struggled or had to work through issues of pain and unhappiness in their lives. It happens to most people at some point along their journey. And while the success and happiness of others is to be celebrated, it’s important to keep things in perspective.

On the days where you feel the whole world is dancing while you are just trying to put one foot in front of the other; be easy with yourself. Sometimes putting one foot in front of the other is all that may be required. There is nothing wrong with accepting how you feel on those days and then assessing what you can, or need to do, to make things better.

I have found that identifying what you feel, or noticing how your body feels, can help you figure out what you may need. Here are two anxiety mindsets and the actions that help:

Frustration, anger, irritation and physical tension
These emotions usually shift through concrete action. You can use the fuel of these emotions to do things that will move you forward. Make that call for coffee; send that email; work on your resume; practice your speech; whatever you need to do break up the feeling of being stuck. Concrete actions moves energy and that will help you feel better.

Sadness, worry, fear and physical exhaustion
These emotions usually mean you need support and recuperation. Connect with people who “get” you; shut your office door for 20 minutes; take a nap; sit somewhere quiet and take some slow deep breaths. Supporting yourself this way will help relax you into a better frame of mind.

In general, when you are having a day of anxiety and stress, limit the time you spend looking at other people’s lives. It usually won’t make you feel better. Keep the focus on yourself and handle what really matters to you at this time.

This article originally appeared on LinkedIn:
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/everybody-has-back-story-karol-ward-lcsw/

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