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Do you dare to dream?

When you stop being vague about what you want, you start living a fearless life.

It’s the New Year. And most of us have created some New Year’s resolutions. Or at least thought about them. I am not a huge believer in setting goals simply because it’s a new year (because, every day, we get a new chance to start doing something great, right?). However setting some time aside for reflection and goal setting is not a bad idea. My problem with doing this only at the start of the year is the frequency, or lack there of, of this exercise. Really thinking about what you want to achieve can change your life. And certainly you would want to practice this more than just once per year, right?

I am currently in Mexico for one month, focusing on some very specific actions I set for myself. I am here with a group of people who came to spend time together and start the year in a place away from our normal environment. To work on personal goals. I asked one of the members of the group recently what her intention was for being here. I got some response, but the answers were all a bit vague and up in the air. I sensed a bit of apprehension and slight discomfort. But after a bit of chatting she opened up. When she told me one of her aims for this year was to meet someone and get settled, I asked for some more specific details. What does your ideal partner look like? What kind of personality does this person have? Where is your future partner located? How are you two going to meet, and when? I fired off question after question which she was not too sure how to answer at first. I explained my reasoning for this inquisition.

Manifestation is all about getting very specific about what you want. You can have everything you want, but it is important that you know what that is.

Once you know what it is you want, you can imagine it better. You can start creating a very real picture. You will be able to start experiencing how having this specific thing in your life will feel like. What it will do with your state of being. How it will contribute to the joy in your life. Once you start grasping this feeling, you can actually start believing. Because what is the point in dreaming if you don’t believe it is going to happen?

As we were talking more and more about this, I saw a shift in her attitude towards this whole ‘manifestation thing’. At first, I had to feed her the answers, to try get an idea of what it was she wanted. But also to show her that I was serious. That I wasn’t going to make fun of her answers. I questioned her answers by asking ‘is this really important to you’, or ‘are you sure those details don’t matter to you’. What I got later in our conversation was a more resolute description of what she wanted, when she wanted it, how she wanted it, what would happen when it happened, how she would feel and react. She came up with more elaborate answers, and there was more excitement in her voice. She told me afterwards that she was very apprehensive to tell me what she wanted. That she wasn’t sure what she wanted, but most of all that she was embarrassed about saying it out loud.

And here’s the core of the problem. We are scared to dream.

We are so afraid someone might laugh at us for what we want. We judge ourselves for wanting what makes us happy. Opening up and being vulnerable means we need to question our desires, and that can be an uncomfortable experience. The thing is, most people don’t allow themselves to think about what they want. And if you don’t know what you want, how can you make anything happen? Dare to want, dare to be specific and dare to dream! You are unique and so are your dreams. All of your dreams are perfect because that is exactly what you want and what is right for you at this time. And guess what, it’s OK to change your mind to. You as a person are constantly changing, so your dreams will as well. It’s a vulnerable exercise, but it’s worth knowing what you dream about and why you want what you want.

Stop being afraid of your own dreams, it’s the start of living fearlessly.

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

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