The call came in.
My father had a heart attack and is intensive care.
I sit still and wait.
I sit still and process what is before me.
Do I love or do I walk away
Do I choose to remember how he protected me or do I remember how he treated my mom?
Do I remember all the times he took my brother and me to the museums, the eye doctors, the dentists and parent-teacher conferences, or do I remember the lies and disagreements that would later grip my heart?
Do I choose to live offended, or do I choose to live thankful that he cared for me?
Do I choose to pick up the phone and call or do I let him exist in his loneliness and pain?
Life with my dad has been full of unpredictable moments. Unexpected joy and gut-wrenching heartbreak.
Did he change as he grew older, or was he this man all along distant, cold and indifferent to others’ sorrow and pain?
Was I going to sit and wonder why or was I going to let go and forgive in my heart and reach out to the broken man that may or may not survive his grave diagnosis?
I chose to call.
“Hello Pa, how are you?” “How are you feeling?”
“I am praying for you…and…
I love you.”
I chose to remember the good; I chose to remember the laughter.
He is living in pain, loneliness, and sadness.
It was not for me to add any more to his current condition.
Lesson:
It’s doing the hard things that bring the greatest reward.
Choose life, joy, and happiness, and make the call!
‘Til Tuesday
Originally published at soulofawoman.blog