The call came in.
My father had a heart attack and is intensive care.
I sit still and wait.
I sit still and process what is before me.
Do I love or do I walk away
Do I choose to remember how he protected me or do I remember how he treated my mom?
Do I remember all the times he took my brother and me to the museums, the eye doctors, the dentists and parent-teacher conferences, or do I remember the lies and disagreements that would later grip my heart?
Do I choose to live offended, or do I choose to live thankful that he cared for me?
Do I choose to pick up the phone and call or do I let him exist in his loneliness and pain?
Life with my dad has been full of unpredictable moments. Unexpected joy and gut-wrenching heartbreak.
Did he change as he grew older, or was he this man all along distant, cold and indifferent to others’ sorrow and pain?
Was I going to sit and wonder why or was I going to let go and forgive in my heart and reach out to the broken man that may or may not survive his grave diagnosis?
I chose to call.
“Hello Pa, how are you?” “How are you feeling?”
“I am praying for you…and…
I love you.”
I chose to remember the good; I chose to remember the laughter.
He is living in pain, loneliness, and sadness.
It was not for me to add any more to his current condition.
It’s doing the hard things that bring the greatest reward.
Choose life, joy, and happiness, and make the call!
Originally published at soulofawoman.blog