I was addicted to Instagram
Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp on my smartphone
And I couldn’t ignore likes and comments
Of my friends and followers.
It was a drug for me.
After all, it was not illegal.
You couldn’t overdose on it.
I was addicted to my list of status updates.
When I waked up was the firts thing to see
When I went to bed was last thing I did before sleep.
I was addicted to the rush I got
From a like, a comment, a retweet
On my personal photos.
I’d never ate my meal before snapping
And sharing it on Instagram and Facebook.
I thought that my private moments
Were always good content for my followers.
I believed that the photographing
And sharing of a cool time
Was more important than
Actually appreciating it in my real life.
I was addicted to having all the information
Right there at my fingertips.
I never had to know the answers
Google told me everything that exists.
I was addicted to keeping the world
Up to date with my travel status.
After all everyone needed to know
That my life was just so amazing.
I was addicted to the barriers
And the easy connection they provided.
However it was so cool to have relationships online
And then without reason removing those friends by one click.
I was addicted to the growth I gained
As my fans went from hundreds to thousands.
And when my numbers went up it meant
That I must be worth something.
So, I was so addicted with my virtual world
That I was disconnected with my real life
Out there.
That’s the bitter truth.
All the “likes” in the world couldn’t inspire me.
And a million instagram followers
couldn’t complete me.
No matter how full was my inbox,
I always felt empty.
I had a serious problem
And I had to find a solution
To take my life back.
I joked about my addiction
To social media,
I rarely thought of it as this,
As something that can seriously affected my health.
So I went to clean. I took them all off my phone.
I still use social media on computers,
But I want to make sure they are not always with me
Every second and everywhere.
Only when I reduced my social media habit
I realised how enveloping
They are designed to be.
The way I was using Facebook and Instagram
I gradually realised, was downright masochistic.
When I was feeling bad about my life,
I looked at pictures of other people’s “perfect” lives
And felt even worse.
They take social pressures and conventions
And amplifies them a million times.
Comparing other people’s timelines with my own
Made me start to worry about the need to conform in a way That I never had before.
Reducing my social media habit
Didn’t make me more productive
However, it did make me see
How little value they added to my life.
So, choosing to opt out of the constant noise,
To reclaim my attention, was a massive relief.
And it also reduced my anxiety levels.
I finally stopped comparing myself with others so much.
My thoughts and conversations are becomed more succinct as I’ m not constantly interrupted
By the sound of a text message or push notification.
Anyway after years of intense co-dependence with my Smartphone I am eager to see
How I can enrich my brain and my life
Without the constant need to have a phone in my hand.
Perhaps I can finally learn to ballroom dance,
I can finally enjoy a meal without first snapping a picture Of my food,
I can finally travel without constantly checking in on Facebook,
I can finally be truly present in the company of my friends And family,
I can finally reading a book without stopping to look
At my phone every few chapters,
Or simply
I can finally sit quietly and be comfortable and satisfied
With my own thoughts and ideas.