Community//

Diary of a Queer Girl

Cherries and Costanza This is the story of a little Parkdale pixie named Costanza. Everyone has that friend, the one who gets themselves into absolutely ridiculous situations so often that you call them every morning to make sure they didn’t get drunk and leave the country with a stranger from a bar. Costanza is mine. […]

The Thrive Global Community welcomes voices from many spheres on our open platform. We publish pieces as written by outside contributors with a wide range of opinions, which don’t necessarily reflect our own. Community stories are not commissioned by our editorial team and must meet our guidelines prior to being published.

Cherries and Costanza

This is the story of a little Parkdale pixie named Costanza. Everyone has that friend, the one who gets themselves into absolutely ridiculous situations so often that you call them every morning to make sure they didn’t get drunk and leave the country with a stranger from a bar. Costanza is mine. Her hair changes almost as much as her persona, I never know which one of her I’m going to get. Some may say scary, I say exciting. Who the f*ck wants to be the same person and do the same things every day!? The thought of that literally makes me want to vomit on my keyboard.

The past two weeks she has been staying with me has provided interesting insight into the world of dating men online. Basically what I’ve gathered from it is to just not. Save your swipes babes, the internet is full of more than just trolls it seems the pandemic has brought along their cousin….The Ogre. Let me describe, The Ogre – basically a more disgusting version of a troll, someone who has said f*ck it to personal hygiene, wears sweatpants while commando because laundry is no longer a necessity , and has resorted to relying on Uber eats for all forms of sustenance. Barf, barf and more fricken barf. I’d rather eat my own vomit than eat Uber eats with a f*cking ogre. I truly feel for all my friends who have to suffer this way. Stop the spread of the Ogerism virus, the threat is real. The change starts with you.

My partner and I have made it almost two months now and I still don’t understand how she deals with me and I don’t want to. Someone give this woman an award for handling my needy emotionally-unpredictable sh*t on the daily. It’s very strange not arguing with someone every day and crying in the shower more than twice a week, is this a healthy relationship? Also what the f*ck is a healthy relationship?

I genuinely think that a healthy relationships definition changes with each couple, throuple, or dildo. If you feel happy, safe and loved in your partnership then that’s all that matters. If happiness for you is something alternative as f*ck then that is OK, we’re all into some weird sh*t I can almost promise you that. There is someone out there who wants to pull cherries out of your p*ssy and eat them, just keep looking honey and don’t settle.

Share your comments below. Please read our commenting guidelines before posting. If you have a concern about a comment, report it here.

You might also like...

Community//

This Festivus, Air Your Grievances — For Your Mental Health

by Christina Beck
High potential employees share certain traits like learning agility
Community//

Do you have what it takes to be high potential?

by Ann Howell
Unplug & Recharge//

What Science Says About the Power of Naps

by Brian Leaf

Sign up for the Thrive Global newsletter

Will be used in accordance with our privacy policy.

Thrive Global
People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

- MARCUS AURELIUS

We use cookies on our site to give you the best experience possible. By continuing to browse the site, you agree to this use. For more information on how we use cookies, see our Privacy Policy.