Let’s embrace the beautiful beings of light we were all choses to guide. Let celebrate and uplift the moms of the world. Mother’s Day is a time to express gratitude towards mothers and mother figures. It is a special day for the family to show gratitude for the time and care they took to help children get through life’s challenges. That special day in May celebrates your mom, grandmother, stepmom or anyone else who has played a maternal role in your life. Every type of mom appreciates recognition for the love they gave and the efforts they made towards their children’s well-being.
As moms, we are all special in our own ways. We make it our foremost priority to serve as a strong example, to care for, nurture and love; and to help our children succeed and grow. A child’s main influencers are the ones who will ultimately pass on these values of love, empathy, kindness and respect, from leading by example.
I became a stepmom to a three-year-old boy who was the ring-bearer when I wed his father 30 years ago. Since then, my partner and I had equal shared custody with my stepson’s biological mom, one of the first paths of co-parenting we shared together.
I vowed to give my stepson a positive and balanced childhood experience, one where we would all communicate respectfully so he would not only thrive as a young child, but also as an adult. I made it my mission as a stepmom to love and care for him as if he were my own. Being a mother stems further than the DNA aspect, it is about the ability to love a child unconditionally, and to guide them throughout their lives.
Life is a series of moments. It is comprised of every hug, every time we say I love you, and the calm, quality times. The smallest moments are often the ones that have the biggest impact in a child’s life. My stepson’s biological mom and I have been a team with an ongoing objective to raise our son in an emotionally healthy environment. We shared this mission over the years, and ultimately witnessing our three-year-old little boy grow into a loving man now has a family of his own has been more than rewarding. Our focus on becoming a blended family has filled all of our lives with adventure, love, purpose and hope.
“Together, we still continue to teach and learn from each other”.
On Mother’s Day, we all meet up for brunch together, and my stepson’s biological mom and I both sit face-to-face, enjoying our meal with laughter and joy. My stepson surprises us both with the same thoughtful gift, with a special hand-written note in a heartfelt card for each of us, showing us his appreciation and love for what we have done for him.
One of the benefits to consciously focus on positive co-parenting in harmony is exactly this: the creation of a ripple effect that resonates with values of respect, compassion, and unconditional love, which he spreads to the loved ones around him. He finds it with ease in his heart and soul to appreciate both our efforts and the love that we both have for him. My stepson’s biological mom and I both have unique traits and qualities that define our roles as special moms in his life. We have a common goal to love and do what is best for our son’s needs. Together, we still continue to teach and learn from each other, with a new goal of spreading our love to the next generation, to our grandchildren.
My husband honours and acknowledges my ongoing efforts with his son. This should stand true for every co-parent out there doing their best – that your efforts to your partner’s child(ren) should never go unnoticed or unappreciated, and vice versa. The main role here is the parents, biological, stepparents or otherwise, taking initiative in educating the children about respect, empathy, compassion and love. This starts with eradicating any negative conversations in the presence of the children.
Whatever past pitfalls you’ve experienced on Mother’s Day as a biological mom or stepmom, put down your swords and remember that you can change it just by how you choose to think about it. We create our own reality. We all matter in our child(ren)’s life.
Here are some valuables tips I found would help to initiate peaceful resolutions:
1) Make small changes that can lead to big impacts
2) Value your qualities and traits
3) Stay open-minded
4) Focus less on the failed romantic relationship
5) Make the conscious decision to live in the present moment
6) Be mindful – communicate about your child’s needs only
7) Work together to ensure the positive development of your child
8) Most importantly, remember: Everyone is important – everyone matters
Create great memories that will light up your child(ren)’s heart and soul, this will always leave you feeling blessed.
You are all amazing and extraordinary women. You’re doing a great job! Your work is not invisible to others who are in similar shoes.
Anna Giannone is an online co-parenting coach and a passionate first-person advocate for Co-parenting in harmony having an outstanding blended family life. Anna is a Certified Master Coach Practitioner, Paradigm shifter for co-parenting in harmony. Anna is International best selling Co-author of Co-parenting in Harmony©: The Art of Putting Your Child’s Soul First and her forthcoming book Co-parenting in Harmony©: Creating A Ripple Effect. www.annagiannone.com
Originally published at www.huffingtonpost.ca