Who has never been haunted by a negative thought? Whether it’s because you’ve been impacted by some devastating news or because you’ve had a traumatic or difficult experience, the fact is, most people have fallen victim to the dark terrain of the mind. But then, how to silence the buzz of harmful ideas?
Mukul Agarwal shares the three self talk that will calm your mind and let you understand the situation calmly so that you can solve it in a better way is:
“It’s not happening now.”
It is possible that a catastrophe or some problem will occur, but it is important to remember that this is not happening right now. This sentence can help you see that, at least for now, you are safe and open up ways for you to better handle the situation, rather than despairing and doing nothing, adding to the problem.
“No matter what happens, I can handle it.”
This statement – which you should make out loud to yourself as often as necessary – reminds you of your own inner resources and delivers the determination you need to face life’s challenges. In summary, this self-affirmation wants to remind you that, at least 90% (not to say 100%) the solution will only depend solely and exclusively on you: on your attitude to change, on your commitment, on your movement, because nobody will come to save you, they can help, but never save completely. So the force has always been and will always be within you, with the help of your network.
“I am causing my own suffering. Can I stop?”
The first part of this statement has its origin in the “Four Noble Truths of Buddhism.” The question “can I stop?” comes from motivational studies that suggest that asking a question tends to be more motivating than simply saying “I’ll stop”.
This question is, in short, the best trigger for you to leave the victim state in the face of an adverse situation. The answer is always yes: I can stop any suffering. Yes, I can go in search of a solution.
This question helps to see that we always have a choice. If there really is a catastrophe on your way (divorce, family death, or natural disaster), the best thing to ask yourself is, “How can I best prepare for this event?” Answering this question can help you plan your action steps, which alleviates anxiety.
When recognizing negative thoughts, it is always necessary to use one of the comfort phrases above, as changing mental habits is difficult and relapses are part of the process.
For the specialist, making thoughts more positive is a project that can last a lifetime. Still, healthier self-talk helps you overcome immediate problems, giving us more time to focus our thoughts on what really matters.