Those unique ‘OMG, Yes!’ or the ‘Aha!’ moments often present themselves when least expected—or do they?
Have you ever planned your ‘brainwave’ moment or scheduled its arrival in your calendar? Probably not.
Although I do believe they come far more frequently than we realise, I think we often miss them. Usually, signposts are staring us right in the face like that tub of coconut yogurt on the refrigerator shelf that you just can’t see.
So what’s the secret to experiencing these sacred moments? We must Be Here. Be in this moment. Be present to what is in our daily lives. Your next one could actually hit when you blankly stare into your refrigerator. That’s because life’s most insightful whispers require space; an empty mind.
MY ‘CALL TO COURAGE’ TRUTH BOMB
Brené Brown dropped a massive truth bomb for me in her new Netflix special: The Call to Courage.
“We end up talking about people instead of talking to people.”
Brené Brown, The Call to Courage
Take a minute and let that sink in.
How often have you caught yourself talking to your BFF about a recent issue in your relationship? How frequently do you ask your mother, brother, sister’s girlfriend—or worse yet, Google—for the solution to this sensitive, unsettling and vulnerable topic that has you losing sleep, avoiding someone or wanting to hit the escape button on your life?
How often?
The moment I heard this sentence, my fingers hit the space bar on my Mac to pause the show.
Say, whaaat?!
“We end up talking about people rather than talking to them.”
Brené Brown, The Call to Courage
A deep resounding, ‘Yes!’ filled my heart.
Now, I’m relatively introverted. I don’t air my laundry over social media, and I’m very selective with who I share my words with…but, hand-over-heart I’m guilty of doing this.
IT GOT ME THINKING…
Why do we—err, I’ll speak for myself—why do I waste time going to someone else about a grievance I hold in my heart other than the person it’s with?
Brené explained it beautifully, “Giving feedback, receiving feedback, problem-solving, ethical decision-making…These are all born of vulnerability…”
And vulnerability is the feeling of being emotionally exposed.
To our ego, this is death. To our heart, this is freedom.
WHY WE DON’T & WHY WE MUST “EXCAVATE THE UNSAID”
- Sometimes it feels painful to confront a troubling situation. Yet, the pain or more so, the suffering is created as we give attention to the imaginary dialogue we create in our mind.
- Sometimes we don’t want conflict; yet when emotions, thoughts or feelings are not expressed, they cause inner conflict. That’s something no one else will carry but you.
- The Voice says, ‘You can get over/deal with this on your own’. The truth is, sometimes we just can’t. Sometimes, the bravest action we could take for ourselves and the other(s) involved is to speak to them directly.
As someone who’s mastered suppressing my thoughts/feelings for a good part of my adult life, talking about what’s unspoken can feel like extracting teeth.
I MADE A PROMISE
A few years back, I made a promise to myself that from this moment forward, I would speak up—regardless of how much my voice was to shake—even if I were to be rejected.
If speaking up comes naturally to you, you may not understand the dedication and willingness it requires for us introverts.
Since that promise some 4 years ago, I’ve become much better at it. Do I still fail miserably and suppress everything until it becomes so dire-strait that the pain of holding onto it becomes greater than the fear? Yes. But what matters to me is I’m willing.
“Willingness is what allows courage and bravery to flow through us.
Monica Kade
Being open and honest with ourselves first is what frees up courage’s lifeline.
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
When we speak what’s true for us, we allow others to experience what’s true for them. That may not always be pleasant, but it will be authentic.
Let’s not turn away from our loved ones because of fear. Let’s not stay closed and small. Choose not to rob others of their experience. We all deserve the opportunity to respond to life in our own way. It’s how we each grow and nurture our call to courage.