Often as a lawyer, I felt like a square peg being forced in a round hole. I was successful at my job but somehow the shoe didn’t fit. But we value ourselves by the label we achieve or are given ‘I am a lawyer’, ‘you’re the daughter who is a lawyer’ or ‘ohh you’re the lawyer, that’s impressive’.
Think about it for a second, it’s often one the first questions that we ask people. What do you do? Being a lawyer or similar gives us an instant status quo and respect. And I’ll admit, I used to like it. When I left my job, initially I struggled without being able to say ‘I am a lawyer’.
But why do we allow ourselves to become the woman who is defined by the label she is given?
And we can feel lost when those labels go? As in reality, I’m far more than a lawyer but I will always be a lawyer too. I am also a writer, a coach, an entrepreneur, a company director, a leader and a fierce advocate of other women designing success and living life by their own rules. I am a woman, a daughter, a sister, a lover, and a friend. You are perhaps a wife, mother and whole host of other things too.
As women, we are multi-faceted creatures and we have lots of different roles. We need not pigeonhole ourselves anywhere and nor allow ourselves to be pigeonholed by others. Own all those parts of your identity this Christmas and delve deeper into who you really are. I had buried parts of my identity under the guise of being ‘a lawyer’. I’d buried me as the writer! Me as the woman who needs freedom and who really dislikes living by other people’s rules and me as the entrepreneur I was always meant to be.
So designing success is all about becoming the woman who you’re meant to be. And not allowing yourself to be pigeonholed but actually bringing all parts of you to the forefront of your everyday.
Christmas is the time we can allow ourselves to be pigeonholed by loved ones. The roles we play and what is expected of us but whilst we’re enjoying the Christmas Holidays, sit with the questions: Who do I need to be next year? What parts of myself am I burying? What is the next version of myself that I need to be?
Start a journaling tool in the back of your journal or notebook which you can add to over the next few weeks. Write at the top of the page – ‘I will be the woman who….’
Then over the next few weeks fill in the blanks…..the woman who does what? goes where? says what?
I will the woman who starts a new business.
I will be the woman who goes to yoga twice a week.
I will be the woman who has a cleaner.
I will be the woman who shops at xyz.
I will be the woman who builds a 6 figure business.
I will be the woman who sets healthy boundaries.
Set those intentions for becoming the woman who you are meant to be in 2018.
Trust me, when you start this journaling tool, you’ll just keep adding to it.