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Alone? Quarantined? Depressed? I feel your pain

ways I used to lessen that pain to become positive & productive

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash

I was glued to my laptop working on my new article when I got to know about the lockdown.

‘Big deal’- I thought.

I had my reasons to think so.

I have stayed alone for almost 3-4 years after finishing my college until I got married.

I was so used to being alone & having my own space that few weeks after my marriage, I was thinking like when is this lady going back so that I can have some me-time.

I was that much into me and my time.

Of course, that changed over the period and I can’t think of my life without my wife and my son.

However, I do still crave for my time and I have it every day even if for 5-10 minutes.

So when this lockdown thing was declared and I found myself alone as my family was stuck in my native place, I thought I could do it.

Anyways I am kind of a recluse as I connect more with the calmness around than the noise.

So I was confident about myself; only worried about my family.

I explained my people over the phone what to do, what not to do patiently to make them understand the graveness of the situation. 

They said we are fine, you take care.

I replied confidently-‘I am fine’-.

I forwarded a few of my close contacts the dos and don’ts messages, then watched a few positivity videos and felt supercharged. 

I was ready to win over it. 

The Night before sleeping, I checked my phone to update myself on the latest news and did the same thing the next morning again.

After two days, I found myself down with anxiety, blood pressure building up, all sorts of negative thoughts & lonely like never before.

Having a little bit of cough now and then added up to it further.

One cough and I started searching for Corona symptoms on the internet and in that process came across hell lot of negative news once again.

I missed the time I used to have with my wife and Son.

I missed the noise all around.

I felt like drowning.

This is tough, I thought.

How am I going to do this?

There has to be a way out.

Ever since I started working on myself and have come across these kinds of thoughts and situations, I have followed this one practice to guide myself in the right direction.

I sit down, close my eyes and ask my inner self, what is the way out?

There is something serene about the inner world we have. 

No matter what is going on outside, it always finds its way out and guide us in the direction best suited for us.

This time also I was guided in the same manner without myself knowing it.

I didn’t feel like checking score updates provided by news channels after that.

While opening youtube, my hands automatically searched for stuff that pulled me up.

I went for the books in my library which changed my perspective towards the situation around me.

And finally after two days of pulling myself out of the negativity I was in, I decided on a few things which are going to take me through this.

Accepting the reality

First thing I did was that I looked for positive motivational quotes and there I found this one:

“If you want to be happy, either change your reality or accept the reality”

I can’t change what’s happening around me but I can make peace with it.

Accepting the reality not only relaxed the borders I had within myself against everything around me, it made me feel more comfortable with it.

The emotional stability of every individual is being tested at its highest level for the first time in our memory.

So being at peace, being happy, being emotionally stable in the current scenario where everything is in chaos is more important than having everything in our way.

I remind myself every day that this is the time to control emotions in the right way and make better use of them so that I don’t regret my decisions, my actions once this all is over.

And that has made me accept the things more happily. 

Taking it one day at a time

There haven’t been more uncertain times in our lives.

Even though we live our lives on credit where every day is borrowed from the almighty, we make plans for years together without even knowing what tomorrow holds for us.

There is uncertainty involved in every aspect of our lives but that one we are so used to, that we take it for granted.

This uncertainty of coming back to our so-called normal life is first of its kind and we aren’t used to it.

I also panicked due to that.

When will this be over, when will I get my family back, when will I go out to have fun again. 

There were so many questions but no answer.

I recalled reading through one interview of the Great Indian Cricket Batsman Rahul Dravid who was famous for playing for hours together with the same concentration and intensity.

The interviewer asked him what his mindset is when the team is in problem and they have a lot many runs to score. What does he do then?

The answer was- “I just focus on the next ball.”

So I borrowed the lesson from this answer and instead of focussing on what lies a few months ahead of us, I started focussing on the day I am living. 

And suddenly everything looked so certain, so clear & so doable.

Practicing Gratitude and positivity

‘If it happens our way its good, if it happens God’s way, it’s better’. 

I have followed this principle forever in my life but when things got tensed initially in this lockdown, I forgot to follow that.

Once I started following this principle and started looking for what was good around me, my attitude towards things changed.

Looking for things that are good in my life, things I took for granted earlier has not only made me realize how blessed I am, it has also brought more positivity in my days.

I am alive, I am healthy, I have food on my table, I have a bed to sleep, what more I need in this time when all we want is to survive.

When I changed my focus this way, all I could feel was gratitude, humbleness and blessings.

Deciding what I wanted out of it

As famously quoted by Eric Butterworth: “Don’t go through life, grow through life”

And the moment I decided to grow through this period, everything changed around me.

For any journey to go through there has to be a goal, a destination or else we might get lost on our way & get frustrated.

This was one thing I didn’t have initially.

An idle mind is the house of an evil and an unused body is the house of diseases.

I had to have work for both of them to keep them functioning well.

Once I decided what I wanted to get done with my body and mind over this period, things became way easier.

I started having a routine, a goal for the day which not only kept me occupied; it also started making me feel more positive and on track.

This journey which we all are taking together is one of its kind and nobody has an idea on how to survive it, how to remain sane during this period, how to at least let our lives be at the same place where we started if we aren’t able to take it further.

I found my ways to handle it. It might work for you, may not. 

If it works, go ahead with them. If it doesn’t, find your solutions.

Just like life, this situation has also brought different questions for everyone and we have to find answers accordingly. 

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People look for retreats for themselves, in the country, by the coast, or in the hills . . . There is nowhere that a person can find a more peaceful and trouble-free retreat than in his own mind. . . . So constantly give yourself this retreat, and renew yourself.

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