We all know that being a loving person is right — good and proper. We also want to be the recipients of someone’s love; but, when it comes to giving, things can get a bit more complicated.
The truth is that many people will not reach their potential unless we believe in them — our children, for example. Faith in their abilities is more important than criticism of their lack of ability.
It is almost as if life has given us an assignment: to encourage and build people up, to challenge them to reach their full potential. We have that power — the ability to leave people better off than we first found them.
Here are some points that get in the way of doing that:
1- Indifference: I have a hard time showing love to people that are very different from me, or when our personalities don’t “click” instantaneously; of course, when I get to know them, my perspective usually changes. It takes a sincere interest in others to cross that bridge.
2- Pride: Being too self-conscious or afraid of what “others” may think. You are thinking too positively of yourself, that you are too significant or too busy to say kind words or take the right actions. Pride also stops us from wanting to establish a connection with people we feel are not essential to us.
3- Selfishness: Being overly concerned about only getting your needs met, without concern for other people’s needs. Perhaps you reason that because nobody helped you, neither should you help others.
4- Being too busy: I was talking to a friend yesterday, and his biggest regret was that as his kids were growing up, he was too busy for them, and now it is too late. They are gone, and one of them is not doing well at all.
It would be best if, from the start, you were clear about what the priorities are in your life so that you don’t have regrets later in life. Giving love is NOT a waste of your time.
5- You develop a habit of not caring: That is when the kindness and sharing of your love always become a big deal since you feel it is not worth your time and effort.
6- Fear of rejection: We tried once, and we were rejected or misunderstood. So we are afraid, forgetting that people are different and the ones most difficult to love are usually the ones that need our love the most.
7- What you don’t say: The words that go unsaid are the ones that can make a significant difference in the happiness you find in life! We often “think” good things about others, but sometimes fail to put these thoughts into words.
“Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts.”- Albert Einstein
Many things you do in your everyday life can’t be “counted.” Like time spent with your children, helping others, or not doing something that you wanted to do to help someone you love.
Usually, these things are not on your to-do list — and yet they are crucial moments in your life.
We must keep in mind that the giving of love is vital. If we don’t have love, all of our talents or accomplishments will not mean much. Acts of love and kindness should take more of a priority in our lives.
You will never know when your last day on earth will be, but if you could, you would probably spend it doing the things that are most important to you.
Things that seem important now will seem pointless then. You would probably want to spend time with those dearest to you as well as making amends and asking forgiveness of those you have done wrong.
This usually happens when people get sick and realize that their time on earth is limited. Then, they understand what is truly important and that what matters is the love they give and the love they receive.
Nevertheless, we are not so thoughtful by nature. We are imperfect humans, which is why we are inclined to ignore the plight of others and think mainly of our own. But when we do this, we risk hurting others, as those whom our selfishness touches will be left disappointed and bitter.
So let’s try to live as the lyrics of that old song by Glen Campbell:
Let me be a little kinder
Let me be a little blinder
To the faults of those about me
Let me praise a little more
Let me be when I am weary
Just a little bit more cheery
Think a little more of others
And a little less of me
Vitin Landivar www.habitsofsuccess.org