Jeannette, “Raise them not to swear.” Tip #1
My favorite of Jeannette’s tips is to raise them not to swear. I was big on that one as well. In order to be ‘big on that’ I had to have impeccable self-control. (At least in my humble opinion.)
Having been raised by a man who lovingly, and not so lovingly, referred to me as a “$&!# &@&!?” one might imagine I had grown to have quite a nasty tongue. I did.
Somewhere I picked up the theory, those with high self-confidence didn’t need to swear. Likely a word of advice from someone trying to help. With a little advice, combined with my governing principle – be the type of person you hope your child will marry, I was driven into a cleaner vocabulary.
To truly apply this rule, we as parents had to refrain from cursing. I am so proud I was able to do this. It was hard. I still can’t believe I managed myself so well.
Michael didn’t hear me say a foul word until he turned 18. He later stated, “Knowing her as an adult, I know how hard that must to have been.” He’s knows not even half of it!
My cursing was never far below the surface. As soon as Michael was out of ear-shot, it was as if a switch was flipped. I would go back to my “Mother (Father) – tongue,” in seconds.
Big Mike let loose a little sooner than I. He brought Michael to the construction site at an early age. He wasn’t much to hold back at work; however, at home the bar was high.
I’m a strong believer, as parents, we don’t have the luxury of “losing our shit.” To me, cursing in front of your kid is “losing your shit.” It’s modelling low standards, poor behavior, vulgarity, and loss of control.
In Jeannette’s case, I’m not sure if she just demanded the kids not curse, or if she too upheld the standard. I’m guessing to not uphold the standard, a parent may have decreased credibility, and an unlikely practical application of this principle.
I strongly believe in this standard.