3 Steps to Having More Power Over Your Finances Than They Have Over You

How to never again say, "I'd love to, but I don't have the money".

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Everyone’s familiar with the catchphrase, “I’d love to, but I don’t have the money.” I spent my entire 20s believing it, saying it, staying home and doing what was expected of me. And since transforming this situation for myself and thousands of others as a coach, author, and speaker over the past two decades, I’ve heard women across all income brackets say it too. And unnecessarily.

In a culture of constant money stress, passing up any desire that seems like “too much” or “extra” feels “practical.” We tell ourselves that once we make our millions and the kids are grown up, it’ll be safe to write the books, take the trips and launch the businesses. The unspoken risk of this hope-addicted practicality? Missing out on your one life while the “right time” awaits only your decision.

In my case, I was working so hard to meet my $2K monthly expenses when I realized “lack of money” was dictating everything in my life, from my work performance to my ability to show up for weddings. That’s when I vowed to never again say, “I’d love to, but I don’t have the money.” Either something was not my genuine priority at the moment, or as a capable woman, I would find a way to bring in the money.

With my decision made, I embarked on the steps below to heal my relationship with money. From that inner transformation, an expanded life experience followed. Now it’s your turn. You get to be the woman who attracts fabulous opportunities and can confidently say, “I’d love to, YES!

1. Stop Believing the Lies About Money

Growing up in a fear-based world, we hear a lot of stressful stories and about money. Common ones include “money is scarce,” “you have to work really, really hard for money,” “you can’t depend on money,” and “you must stretch every dollar.” While it’s all been true for certain people at different times, none of it is Universal Truth. Yet as long as you believe it, consciously or unconsciously, it will be reflected back at you.

In other words, you get what you focus on. The good news is, whatever your specific money story is, a more empowering truth awaits. That’s why one of the first steps women go through in my business programs is transforming their money story through journaling, meditation, coaching and mantras, and why I have an entire section of my book dedicated to guiding you through the process.

The truth is that there is plenty of money in the world. Money flows where there’s a purpose. Accept that you are worthy of the level of wealth necessary to answer your calling, and affirm that money is available to support you. Instead of focusing on lack, focus on more of what you want: the ability to make your highest contribution, provide for loved ones, and design a life you love.

2. Make Your Own Money Rules

Why do so many women think they’re “bad with money”? Being trained to believe in lack and struggle is one thing; hearing that your desires and values in particular are “too much,” “too expensive” or “too impractical” only complicates the path to success. And after all, we’ve heard from gossip, the last way most women want to be seen is “she’s all about the money,” or “she’s so selfish.”

All of this outdated thinking and pressure to conform cuts us off from our true instincts, leaving us confused about our desires and disempowered to create our dreams. To reclaim her power, every woman deserves to get clear on her genuine preferences and priorities and claim them unapologetically. That is how one does life as my favorite archetype, the Queen.

Where a Princess avoids clarity in hope-addiction, a Queen knows exactly what she values and invests time and money accordingly. She’s organized and strategic, yet she also knows when to take a risk or invest outside the lines.  Give yourself the time to get clear on: What gets me excited to leap out of bed? What are my top values in life? What are my true priorities right now? How would I like to take care of myself daily? How can I reward and celebrate myself for working towards my goal on a weekly basis?

3. See Yourself as a Creator of Wealth

Budgeting and scaling back has its place and time, and depending on your priorities, that may or may not be now. Either way, on the other side of this transformation is more of what you truly desire. As a Queen, money is a resource that supports you in living your purpose, and it does take greater and greater financial resources to keep growing on your journey.

For the women in my community, financial stability is no longer enough. Women are craving wealth that allows them to play a bigger game in the world, design their own careers, and have it all rather than do it all. We’re in a time where it’s possible for every American to think outside the traditional rules of the job ladder, and if you’re reading this right now, you have the global marketplace at your fingertips.

Women are starting businesses at twice the rate of men, and getting better at asking for more of what we desire. We’re not just managing stress, we’re owning our power to make things happen, tapping into creative solutions and choosing to always have money for what genuinely matters to us. Once a Queen decides that she’d love to, no lack of anything can stop her.

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