Challenges are an inevitable part of our life. There are moments when we feel like we keep hitting the wall and nothing is moving the right direction. Sometimes we feel stuck in a situation that doesn’t seem to change.
If you have ever asked yourself a question why we face challenges, I have an answer for you from my favorite book: A Course In Miracles.
“Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn presented once again, so where you made a faulty choice before you can now make a better one and thus escape all pain that what you chose before has brought you.”
Challenges are opportunities for us to grow. In either case, they point out to us what we need to understand and learn.
There are two primary reasons for why we face challenges.
Other words, they aren’t proof that you’re a terrible person and you did something wrong. But they show you your dysfunctional patterns that you must heal to feel the flow again.
You know that you’re in the flow when you feel more spacious and grounded. The right things and situations come easier to you, and you don’t feel like you need to fight for them or deserve them.
Respecting your own rhythm is the natural way of being, but it’s not very common nowadays.
So what is a dysfunctional pattern and what to do about it?
A pattern is a set of beliefs and way of thinking that we’ve received from our society and family.
As children, we copy everything that we see from our parents. When we’re little, they’re “gods” for us, so we accept everything they say and do as a given rule. It must be true since they’re doing it.
This can create positive patterns of being committed and grounded. But it mostly leads to creating dysfunctional patterns.
Let me give you an example. Say, that your parents were fighting when you were little. In the arguments, they were insulting each other and acted in disrespectful ways.
Since they’re your role models, this becomes a blueprint for your behavior. Your subconscious mind saves this information as a layout for the way how you should treat your partner.
Without realizing the subconscious minds begins to play out these patterns later on when you’re adult. It tells you things like; men (or women) can’t be trusted, they’ll betray you and abandon you, they’ll cheat on you, or leave you anyway.
Thus when you’re with another person, you aren’t present. You approach them with expectations. Your minds warn you that they’ll be just like your parents were.
You project your past experiences on the present moment and your future.
Now, this is a simplified way to explain patterns as they’re also created at the energy level, and they’re many more dynamics, but I hope it gives you some idea. (You can read in much more depth about dysfunctional patterns and ways to rewire our mind in my second book.)
The way to heal this is to recognize your patterns and the ways they play out in your life and then face them completely. As there is a stuck energy that keeps attracting similar situations into your life.
In some cases, the recurrent challenges may not be related to patterns (or it’s not necessary to go deep into understanding them).
Challenges can also be a sign that you haven’t decided 100%, so the universe (life force) is testing you.
It’s the state of a split mind when you want something, but you aren’t 100% sure yet.
Say, you’d like to study abroad, but you haven’t decided completely, so your environment is testing you to help you choose. They may tease you that you wouldn’t be able to take care of yourself or that it’s dangerous and so on.
In this case, when you decided that you’re going (or not), trust me they’ll stop. I’m sure that you’ve experienced moments when people were unsupportive for your goals. They may have challenged you, but the moment you decided, they stopped.
Our decisions should be like a laser beam – 100% focused and reflecting the right reasons and intentions.
It doesn’t mean that you can’t change your mind in the light of new evidence and experience.
But when you’re sure about something don’t let yourself be distracted by other options.
Originally published at sylviasalow.com