10 Untold Lessons About My Unexplained Infertility Journey

Pantea Kalhor-The best-selling author of Naturally Conceived shares her own recovery journey of unexplained infertility over the age of forty.

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#1 Bestselling Author of "Naturally Conceived" shared her lessons on her infertility journey
#1 Bestselling Author of "Naturally Conceived" shared her lessons on her infertility journey

Among one million couples worldwide undergo fertility treatments every year and over one third of them are diagnosed with unexplained infertility -meaning medical doctors could not find any issues with male or female reproductive organs

Medical News Today: Cause Of Unexplained Infertility Discovered For 80% Of Couples (medicalnewstoday.com

Being labeled with unexplained infertility creates enough mental blockers for so many couples to confirm their diagnosis and stop finding for an answer. The first time I heard about “Unexplained Infertility” was when I finished the second round of unsuccessful IVF. Deep in my heart I was not satisfied with the diagnosis and I knew that there should be an explanation for my diagnosis. My husband and I decided to quit fertility treatment and get back to our normal life. I started researching and removing toxins and extra hormones out of my body which I had received during 2 years of consuming fertility drugs.

Following this I switched to another acupuncture practitioner to balance my body and in just 2 months we were naturally conceived with a beautiful baby girl. When I held my baby in my arms for the first time, I promised myself to share my message in a book. A few years later my book “Naturally Conceived” is published. You can find out more about my book here.

Here are the 10 lessons that I learned during my infertility and pregnancy journey.

Lesson #1

When there is no answer to explain the reason for your fertility issues, that means based on the logic, you are not infertile. Simply, you could not search enough to find the medical proof and validate your fertility problem. The reason still exists and needs more holistic tests.

Lesson #2

Unfortunately, some couples believe that if they can not get pregnant, IVF and fertility drugs can create a miracle for them. They are not aware that they may have some underlying issues that have blocked their reproductive functions and needed to be addressed before starting any fertility treatments. In my case, I used to eat some inflammatory foods like dairy products, had phlegm due to my asthma and liver issue from the traditional Chinese medicine viewpoint. Usually, these symptoms are not triggered in western medicine as signs of fertility issues and that’s the reason why many couples just confirm their unexplained infertility diagnosis and totally give up of having their own baby.

Lesson #3

Removing the symptoms cannot remove the root cause of your issue. All organs of your body are connected to each other, no matter if you have PCOS or Endometriosis, you may also have some other health issues in other parts of your body which affect your reproductive functions.

Always remember, the symptoms are not the diagnosis.

Dr Carol Lourie, ND

Lesson #4

We are whole as mind, body and spirit and majority of fertility issues or chronic disease can be healed if our disconnected pieces of our mind, body and spirits find each other and work as whole again. By digging deeply into unexplained infertility, I realized we cannot only heal our body by ignoring our emotional or spiritual states. One of the reasons many diseases return to our body is that we only try to heal the body and remove the symptoms however if we are destressed, have toxin relationships or do not believe in our healing process, we may end up exposing to same disease repeatedly like cancer, arthritis, or asthma.

Anything that chronically elicits the stress response in childhood can lead to changes in our brains and bodies.

Dr Janelle Louise, ND

Lesson #5

We can only start the healing process when our body feel safe and loved. I am not only talking about a human mutual love, but self-love. The moment we discover healing starts from within, we need to nourish ourselves with love more than what we receive from others. Even if we choose the best specialist, if we are not kind to ourselves, the healing process does not move forward smoothly. 

Lesson #6

 In Traditional Chinese Medicine, there is a Channel called Baimai, and that connects heart and womb to each other. Any childhood trauma or unprocessed PTSD may contribute to breaking this connection and creating hormone imbalance.

” The pain and grief from trauma can remain in the womb for years until it is acknowledged and healed

Dr Dawn Garrison, Dr of oriental medicine

Lesson #7

Our reproductive functions need extra energy to produce eggs, fertilize it and keep it healthily growing by the end of the third trimester. If we are mentally or spiritually drained and exhausted, we may not be able to generate enough energy to keep the baby. That can be one of the reasons for recurrent miscarriages or not getting pregnant.

Look at these three components to see how you are wasting your energy:

1. Your work

2. Diet

3. Daily activities

Any diet, activity, or emotional overload which exhausts you and creates discomfort, wastes your energy. Discover what is occupied your mind. What are your concerns? Are you a workaholic? Do you spend long hours in commuting? Where have you focused on most? Are you overthinking or over-analysing your problems?  

No matter what you want, what you focus most of your energy on matters.

Tsao Lin Moy- Traditional Chinese Medicine and Acupuncture Practitioner

Lesson #8

Create positive distractions to activate the power of creating your baby. Change your focus from your worries to creating something new and creative. When you do something that you always afraid of doing, you will break the failure loop, increase your confidence, and awaken your reproductive functions. I believe any kind of art can contribute to reviving the energy of creation. That can be journaling, painting, knitting or even a creative baking. We have been created to create our world. 

Lesson #9

Stop resisting, be open to new options and release yourself from negative thoughts and limited beliefs. Letting go and surrendering to a good will, shift your focus from a victim to a victor and connect your unconscious mind to the world of opportunities. 

Let go the resistance. Let the feminine power flow. Embrace the challenge. You let go and are ready to receive energy – do not force and push back the energy.

Lisa White, Holistic fertility coach

Lesson #10

Avoid Sugar, processed food, and inflammatory food. Change your lifestyle to green and healthy style.

I hope that my lessons can be of value to you. I’d love to hear your thoughts and comments too!

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