It’s so tempting to want to hide our insecurities. It’s pretty understandable because insecurities don’t feel good.
Our insecurities can make us feel different, or like we don’t fit in. We can feel embarrassed by them, or be afraid other people will judge us for them.
So we try to hide them. We try to hide them by telling lies and making excuses.
(I know the word lie sounds harsh, but isn’t that what we are doing when we tell a story or make an excuse?)
We tell these lies and make excuses to the people around us and even to ourselves.
If I haven’t lost you yet, keep reading, because it will turn your life around.
Did you notice I said TRY to hide them? The deeper we get into our stories in an attempt to cover up our insecurities, the more we convince ourselves that our insecurities are tucked deep away in a vault, invisible to all.
Maybe people don’t know exactly what you are trying to hide, but it’s easy to smell a rat when things don’t feel right.
When we make up excuses and lies to try to hide an insecurity, people now see two things. Insecurity AND a lack of authenticity.
This is why trying to hide insecurities backfires. The people around you react to your lack of authenticity. That causes them to treat you differently. You then feel different from everyone else, and that makes you feel even more insecure.
The people around you want authenticity. They want the real story, not the concocted one. They have their own sets of insecurities , and they want to feel that they aren’t alone.
Embrace who you are. Love yourself right now. Celebrate your little quirks. You are kooky and that is a good thing!
It can be hard admitting an insecurity. So often, we build up a tough exterior that tries to portray the opposite of what we are really feeling.
Admit your insecurity to yourself first, and then venture out and tell the truth to others.
The idea of revealing an insecurity might make you feel pretty anxious. Will I look weak? Will the other person lose respect for me? Will they think I am weird?
Try saying something like this:
“I hate to admit this but….”
“I’m embarrassed to share this, but….”
You can think of them as going along for a ride (temporarily) with you. But they do not define who you are.
I applaud every effort to kick them off the ride. The first step to doing that is opening the door, so they can get out.
As always, I wish you all the best!
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Originally published at theascent.pub