I know how difficult it is living with an eating disorder.
Your mind is so consumed with thinking of food that it’s difficult to have a conversation. You may have isolated yourself from other people.
You just want to feel safe. You just want to feel in control.
You have continued with the rules and rituals for a long time, in the hope that you will finally feel good enough and happy. But all it’s bringing is endless torture.
It feels like there’s an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. You have no idea who to believe. What is right. What is true.
But know this:
Happiness comes from feeling good about yourself
Change the way you think about yourself
Happiness will never come from anything external ie. a new car, more money, your weight
Your eating disorder is not making you happy
Your eating disorder will never make you happy
Make the decision today that you’re not happy and you want things to change. Don’t think about tomorrow, just focus on now. Don’t get overwhelmed by looking too far ahead. What can you do differently to feel good about yourself? Because doing the same thing won’t change anything.
Keep making that decision every day and every time you’re tempted to go back; and just keep doing your best to move forward.
Originally published at medium.com