Sure it is not easy to say goodbye to stuff, people, activities, interests… Rewarding or not so much, these are the things that somehow shape us, and give us a sense of belonging, of “who we are.”
But when you start feeling burdened, and unhappy about keeping them in your life, dragging them along as heavy rocks sitting on top of your shoulders because you don’t know how to let them go, then, detachment is the key to finding your way ahead. Even if that leaves you feeling naked, and seemingly without a clue.
Someone said once that “Nature abhors vacuum,” so you need to create emptiness in your life to give way to the new. The Universe will react to this hole, filling it with new opportunities for you to experience.
True, going into this dark place is scary, and lonely. But the burden is alleviated. There is a sense of liberation, of accomplishment for having being courageous enough to take that step, and let go of that which was no longer serving you. If you feel trapped between a rock and a hard place, I tend to say: “Follow your joy!” Which way is the one that connects you more to your joy? Which one gives you a sense of expectation, of childlike anxiety for the new, like impatiently waiting for a seed to turn into a plant, and for the bud to bloom into a flower? That’s your path! Even if it hurts, even if it leaves you stumbling in the dark for a while. You know deep inside that you are doing the right thing for you, your own growth.
Letting go of stuff seems to be the easiest in the list. After all, it is just… stuff! If you are no longer using it, give it away. De-clutter your space, make room for fresh air.
You may feel a little lost when the things you pursued in the past start to taste dull, boring, lifeless. Maybe you learnt what you needed from those activities, and are ready to move forward. Maybe the “new you” has a different energy that outgrew your past interests and is ready to try new things.
By far, the most difficult to let go. Relationships are heavily bundled with emotions… and tied to both sides, not just yours! But even so, if deep down inside you feel the time has come for you to part separate ways, just do it. With a heart full of gratitude for everything shared with that person, the bright moments, and the lessons learnt, do appreciate the past, but you know it is time to move on. The friendship you once had is no longer fresh, there is not much to work on, you are just two former-buddies-now-strangers trying to emulate what you had in the past. Your sixth sense, however, is telling you both that what you had is to be treasured as a good memory, and an enriching experience. Forcing it to continue will turn it sour.
So, take a deep breath, align yourself, and cut loose from the old. This is a perfect time to do that, with the ending of a year and the beginning of a new one, full of possibilities ahead.
After all, it is your own energy at stake. And it has nothing to do with being selfish. Nothing further away from the truth! Once you are rejuvenated, and thriving with enthusiasm again at the new opportunities and experiences, everyone around you will benefit with your joy. Be courageous, and follow your joy!
Originally published at medium.com