When we see our friends, colleagues, and family members posting their best moments on social media it’s easy to begin to believe that they live nearly perfect lives. What we forget is that people don’t usually post about their just average days and they hardly ever post about their failures. When we only see people’s highlight reels we sometimes can begin to believe that our lives are boring. We wonder why isn’t my life that great?
Your success and happiness should never be defined by what others are posting about. It’s up to you to find your own path. However, we often need guidance from mentors, teachers and experts to help us determine the correct steps to take toward empowering ourselves.
I sat down with Byron Sahka, a Master Coach and Speaker who helps people remove the roadblocks that are holding them back from achieving their highest vision of success.
1) How do you define success?
Everyone has their own definition of success, but for me, success means being authentic and living according to my own highest values whilst at the same time contributing to the world around me. It’s about being content with who I am and recognising the value I have to offer. It’s also about having a sense of certainty that I can succeed, the courage to do the things I value most and the ability to handle setbacks when they arise.
I’ve learned that we can only achieve true success in any area of life, whether it’s career, relationships, finances, physical health or mental wellness, when all areas of our life are working in harmony with one another. To be successful in one area to the detriment of the others, often leads people down an unfulfilling path. For me, the ultimate success is to be empowered in all areas of life.
2) How do you help people become successful?
I help people discover what really drives them in terms of uncovering their highest values so they can gain clarity on what they truly want out of life.
We take an in-depth look at each area to unpack their ultimate vision for their physical health, mental wellbeing, financial stability, career satisfaction and relationship fulfillment. And then we build a strategic plan and clients commit to being kept accountable so they’re able to make their intrinsic goals reality.
Many, if not most, people have emotional baggage and self-made limitations that stop them from succeeding, so when I see these potential barriers, I teach my clients how to break through them so they can unleash the best version of themselves.
With the “no fluff” approach to success, I can ensure that clients achieve fast and lasting results and inspire others in the process. When they apply themselves and do the work they’re an awesome example of what’s possible, so they make a significant difference in others’ lives and exponentially increase their zone of influence.
3) What are the biggest things you see people doing to hijack their own success?
The two biggest things I see are:
- Blaming someone or something for our wellbeing instead of taking full responsibility for our self. Being a victim of our circumstances leads to feeling helpless, disempowered and ultimately dissatisfied. If we want to run our own lives, we need to own our results and non-results, and use our power to create the change we seek.
- Making false comparisons to others we perceive to be more successful is the quickest way to feeling inadequate. Unless we take into account a holistic view of someone’s life, rather than only looking at the upsides compared with our downsides, it’s an incomplete picture. Someone may have more money than you, but you may have more fun and adventure. Or someone may have a greater physique than you, but you may have more prosperous relationships. Expecting yourself to be or do anything other than honouring your highest values is the surest way to feel unsatisfied with yourself and your life. False comparisons to others are nothing but a distraction from being the best version of yourself.
4) What are your ideas on happiness?
I think the pursuit of happiness, alone, is a dangerous one because trying to feel good all the time is one of the leading reasons people don’t achieve their potential. It’s impossible to feel happy all the time so this illusion is one of many that holds people back and keeps them stuck. Any great achievement will require us to stretch ourselves, push beyond our comfort zones and overcome various challenges. This does not always feel good in the process.
Instead of seeking happiness, I focus on making progress and working toward fulfillment. Often people don’t achieve their dreams because they’re too focused on trying to avoid the pains and discomforts that make them unhappy in the short-term, but those pains are often exactly what we need to grow into the best version of our self in the long-term. When we know that the path to our greatest success will inevitably include challenges and setbacks, we become more willing and able to persevere through them, making the journey more rewarding.
5) How important do you think having a vision for your life is?
I think it’s very important. Deep down, I think everyone knows how they would love their life to be but fear stops people from giving themselves permission to go after it. Fear of being judged, not being good enough, failing, and letting others down are common and persistent in the human psyche.
When we have a clear and inspiring vision, we know what we’re striving for and we know why it’s worth it to us. An inspired vision fills our life with purpose, helps us be more focused and productive, and makes us more willing to sacrifice fleeting pleasures because we know what we’re working toward is the greater prize.
It isn’t even so much about whether or not we achieve everything we set out to, but more so who we become in the process, which will be a far greater version of ourselves compared with what we’re likely to achieve without a self-motiving mission. The stronger the vision, the more likely we are to achieve it, and the more alive and inspired we’ll feel each day as we work toward it.
6) What do you think is the best way someone can boost their confidence to go after their dreams?
Don’t wait for confidence to show up before getting started. Everyone in one way or another is afraid of failure. The difference between the successful and the unsuccessful person is that the successful person embraces the fear and does what they have to do. By getting started and taking action, their confidence grows in the process. The unsuccessful person procrastinates and feels overwhelmed while waiting for the fear to disappear, or for something to happen, before they get started. But if we don’t do the thing we fear, then the fear controls our life. When we do the thing we fear, the death of fear is certain. When my clients recognize that they’re absolutely worthy of their dreams, they’re willing to put the work in and they essentially annihilate one fear after another. The best time to start taking action toward your dreams is always now.
7) Please share a success story about a time you empowered someone to achieve their dream.
I had a client who came to me with chronic fatigue, was medically depressed, thirty kilograms overweight, with a job he hated, unfulfilled relationships, and very low self-worth. Over the next twelve months we went deep to uncover his highest values; explored universal principles of human behaviour and human potential; got really clear on what he wanted out of life; built his confidence and self-esteem by dissolving a lot of the negative illusions he had about himself and his life; and put a powerful plan in place where I then mentored and coached him toward the obtainment of goals he was authentically inspired to achieve.
As a result of his dedication and commitment he lost twenty five kilograms; got a new job that he loves; nearly doubled his wage; rekindled his intimate relationship; turned a destructive relationship with his parents to one of love and gratitude; and best of all he is off the anti-depressants and is now living a life that he truly loves and feels inspired by every day.