Scientists estimate the probability of your being born at about one in 400 trillion.
One. In. FOUR HUNDRED TRILLION.
Who can really say how accurate that is? But, let’s face it, the probability of our existence must be pretty low. Like at least lower than the chances of winning the lottery, right?
And, the chance of whatever you are afraid of actually happening is probably about the same.
So, we have to believe that basically, you are a miracle. You may not be rich and famous, but you are magic. And, you weren’t meant to play small.
Fears can hold us back from doing the BIG things that we were supposed to do. Because, yes, we ALL have a purpose and a BIG reason for being here.
And, the thing is, we all deal with fear. It is a basic emotion and sometimes it is necessary for our safety. We need fear.
But, then there are other times when fear isn’t necessary at all. But, it’s still there anyway.
When we think of being fearless, we often think of conquering our fears.
But, before we can conquer our fears, we must first face them.
So, recognize your fear and put a name to it. Because no matter how irrational a fear can be, it still feels 100% real. And, that’s okay.
Maybe you are afraid of public speaking, flying, crowded places, death, the unknown, 0r rejection.
Whatever it is, realize that fear is a basic emotion, and we are actually allowed and supposed to feel fear. So first, name that fear.
And remember, fear is different from worry. Worry is going through the what if’s of the future. Fear is a present emotion.
Next, determine why.
Figuring out why we are afraid of something helps us feel validated and detach from the fear.
Maybe it was a traumatic experience. Or, a news article that we read. It could have to do with our upbringing or even a lack of control.
Remember, you are not the only one with that fear. Instead of trying to reject it, validate it.
Validation is so underrated. Allow your feelings to be validated.
Tell yourself, “Yes, public speaking feels scary.”
Because, as irrational as your fear may be, there is probably a very rational reason that you feel that way.
Give yourself space and permission to feel that.
Being fearless isn’t conquering your fears, it’s having the courage to go through the healing process.
Then, conquer it
Once you’ve named your fear, given yourself space and validation to feel the fear, and figured out why you might have that fear, then it’s time to conquer it.
So, tell yourself, “Yes, public speaking is scary. But, it is safe for me to speak.”
Start with one small step. You don’t have to overcome the entire fear at once.
Because, it’s not what you know, it’s what you feel. You know that public speaking won’t actually kill you, but you don’t feel like you will make it out alive. Big difference.
If you are afraid of flying, maybe you first go to an airport. Then, maybe you get on a plane and get off.
Oh, and celebrate those small steps! Instead of telling yourself all the reasons that you shouldn’t feel afraid, focus on the steps you are taking.
If your fear is public speaking, maybe you first speak to a very small crowd of 2–3 people. Or, record a video of you speaking.
Take small, manageable steps. Forcing yourself to do overwhelmingly scary things will feel much more traumatic than fearless.
Being fearless is being vulnerable. It’s not being ashamed of your fears.
Use your fear as the catalyst for creating monumental change in your life.
Because you were meant to live big. You are destined to be fearless.
PS — Have you taken the FREE 5-Day Brave & Bold Challenge yet? Your life is waiting.
Originally published at medium.com