My expectations with my first baby included:
The reality, of course, was a rude awakening. Throughout the first few months, there would be entire days where he didn’t nap. If he did fall asleep, I couldn’t put him down & even naps in my arms only lasted about 30 minutes. He would tolerate a bouncy seat, baby swing, or other device for 5–10 minutes; but that was about the extent of that. He ate around the clock, & if I tried to stick to some semblance of a schedule, he screamed & screamed & screamed until he was too worked up to breastfeed. He never, ever slept a full night in his crib. Some days the only way I could get him to stop crying was to leave the house & give him some change of scenery.
Looking back, I now understand why. My first born has grown into an incredibly brilliant, energetic, & determined young boy, & all of the signs of that were there from the day he was born (when he spent his first day awake & alert holding his head up off my shoulder to look around instead of snuggling & sleeping).
But… that first year as a mom was very difficult for me, & a lot of it was because I expected it to be something different. My expectations & everything I had prepared for were shattered, & instead of accepting my new reality, I fought it, & I had blamed myself.
Baby number two…
My expectations for baby number two were obviously very different. I had a different perspective… I knew first-hand how difficult motherhood could be. I knew that there were babies out there that rarely slept & always ate. And I knew that it would all be okay.
My expectations with my second baby included:
So guess what… those first few months with baby number two went much more smoothly than the first time around. Part of it has to do with his happy-go-lucky personality that still exists today, but it also had A LOT to do with my expectations.
If he sat happily in his swing for a few minutes, I was pleasantly surprised. If he took a good nap, I was delighted. If he went more than an hour without breastfeeding, I rejoiced.
It is all about perspective.
Stop fighting the situation that you’ve been given & start adjusting. You will become a much happier person!
Originally published at adorethem.com on March 10, 2017.
Originally published at medium.com