“ Sometimes you will never know the value of a moment until it becomes a memory”
~ Dr. Seuss
For me, journaling is like whispering to myself and listening at the same time. Writing gives me insight into the meaning and purpose of my life and helps me keep my eyes on my visions and my goals, on what is important and what I can let go.
It is a voyage to the interior, where I can tell myself to myself and throw all my burden onto the pages of my diary, and feel the relief of letting go.
As I was sorting thru boxes in my attic last night, I came across an old journal. I read the words I had written — now but pictures of my thoughts. I recalled that it was the first year I had followed my intention to journal. Prior to that I would type random thoughts on my computer whenever I felt inclined, but never dared keep a physical diary for fear that somehow, someone, would read my thoughts and perhaps judge me.
I brushed the back of my hand across the beautiful, ornate and colorful cover now, one that I had sewn together by hand on one of my creative days. I remember like it was yesterday. Sitting on the floor with all the colorful scraps I could gather spread out in front of me, with needles and beads, teary-eyed and emotional while listening to Deva Pramal’s soft music in the background.
The book cover was still in great condition, the hand stitching and beading still intact, the colors still bright and vivid.
I made myself comfortable as I sat on the tiled floor among the scattered boxes, and smiled sadly as I leafed through the pages. At the top of the page I had written the words: My Year of Healing and Letting Go. A wave of nostalgia came over me as I read the daily entries… a vestige of a very challenging time in my life.
I closed my eyes and was transported to that year 2013. A year of overwhelm while yearning for direction and strength, to continue living my life as best I could under the circumstances. A feeling of immense void had consumed me at every waking moment that something in my life, a part of me, was missing. I had lost everything and everyone that mattered. My life as I had known it would never be the same again.
Keeping a journal of what is going on in my life helps me distill what was important and what was not. And ever since I have diligently penned my thoughts daily. I journal every night and rarely miss a day. Writing down my daily thoughts and events has changed me and brought me clarity and shows me where I need to look more closely.
In the journal I am at ease. I can treat the past as a school and be grateful for what has transpired and what life brings my way. Journaling has taught me responsibility for everything that happens in my life and keeps me accountable. It provides companionship in times of loneliness, and clarity in times of chaos.
It is in the pages of my journal that I discover myself. I see where I need encouragement and I choose to give it to myself. In these pages I learn where I need help, and am able to show up for myself. It offers me the comfort that only I can give me.
Oftentimes answers come up when I put my thoughts and pose my questions on paper. My journal is the one place where I can allow myself to let go, be honest with myself and be in a place of non-judgment. It is a place of release, where I can be brutally honest and completely transparent and careless. As I continue with this practice, I become aware of a shift occurring, of support I had never felt before and I feel empowered.
I find that journaling is therapeutic, and the best way to bridge the gap between who I really wish to be, and how I am showing up in my life. My journal is a document of truth and honesty; of pain and the realization that I can recover every setback in my life by my own actions, and on my own terms.
My journal is akin to a guesthouse, as I invite all that wants to show up: ideas, thoughts, persons, places and things. I welcome each willingly and without inhibitions.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice…
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in
Be grateful for whatever comes
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
And as I write and pour my heart out daily, with honesty and from the deepest recesses of my soul, I cannot help but be healed.
© Rani St. Pucchi, 2017
Rani St. Pucchi is an award-winning Couture Fashion Designer, Style & Image Consultant, and a Relationship Expert. She is a Bestselling Author, a Speaker, an Inspirational Success Coach and a Trainer. Her #1 International Bestselling Books, Your Body, Your Style: Simple Tips on Dressing to Flatter Your Body Type and The SoulMate Checklist : Keys to Finding Your Perfect Partner are now available on Amazon and at Barnes & Nobles.
For more information on Rani please visit www.ranistpucchi.com
Originally published at medium.com