There are times I feel I’m cursed, and I believe myself.
I often start a new project and each time I fail at it I resign to worrying. I feel like the world is against me when nothing seems to work like I planned it.
I put my energy into thinking I am cursed and my efforts are futile. I continually believe these thoughts.
I reassure myself if my parents had done this and that, if I had this and that at my disposal I’d be way miles ahead in life. Now I’m certain nothing will ever work and I’m doomed.
Recently, a friend of mine lost a job. He fears for the welfare of his growing family that looks up to him.
He went on about how he feels everything is lost for him. How there’s no glimmer of hope in sight, and how he is about to lose it.
According to him, the reason he never secures a lucrative job is that his family is cursed. He further echoes his siblings are all out of work.
His parents recently separated and now, he intimates, an unforeseen force is against his family and career and it won’t let him (or them) prosper.
“It’s a curse Pete, and there is no way around it”.
Here’s the thing!
My friend and I are not cursed.
We just don’t want to try harder to solve our problems. Like everyone else, we are happy with a routine that sinks us further into the rat race.
We are in a comfort zone like everyone else. We’ve let our minds convince us it is the end of the road for us. That there’s no sight of light in the tunnel of our life and in the end feel cursed.
Such thoughts as you know, rarely solve anything. In fact, they further drag us down in a Stygian pit of more excuses.
But hey that’s life.
Worrying and feeling like shit is normal. It is normal to feel cursed and crushed. It is normal to want to throw in the towel and give up. Normal human beings do that all the time — worry.
If you’ve experienced the same, it’s not the end of the world. You can breathe confidence in your life again.
You can do something to believe your dreams are achievable and that you’re not cursed after all.
So in the wee hours of the morning (after giving everything a serious thought) I got up and took to writing what I needed to do to steer my life in the right direction and improve it.
Take note, you will learn something.
1: Wake Up Early
I seldom wake up early. Anyone close to me knows I’m not an early riser. I come awake at 10 AM and often drained off energy.
Turning in past midnight and waking up close to midday will get you feeling lethargic. So wake up early, plan out your day, and you’ll experience a significant change in your life. It’s that simple.
2: Don’t Sit and Talk All Day about Your Life Problems
I sit and talk a lot. I draw energy from talking out my problems and it makes me feel better. But it works against me and now that I know this I’m doing something about it.
You can only save yourself from a vicious cycle if you didn’t sit and talk all day about what you should be doing instead of doing it.
3: Don’t Allow Yourself to Get Distracted
I get it. You lost your job, you are broke, and scared shitless about what will happen. But that’s no excuse not to work on your goals.
There are always distractions, if you allow them — Tony La Russa
I get distracted a lot when I have an issue that’s bothering me. Instead of focusing on my goals and mapping out my life, I simmer in my worry then time flies and I feel like shit again.
4: Quit Seeking Sympathy
As human beings, we seek sympathy a lot. So we share our problems with everyone who cares to listen.
We want them to relate to our situation and agree with us that it is, in fact, true we are a cursed lot.
This won’t make you a better person. It only weakens your mind.
I was there and all I yearned was to share my predicaments with anyone — a friend, relative or sibling — who cared to listen and empathize with my situation all the time. Don’t be like me.
5: Avoid the Wastelands of Social Media
When sleep escapes me I take to Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram and scroll through my timeline and guess what, I end up feeling terrible about my life.
With every scroll I wow at my friends’ achievements, and how they have a lot going on in their lives yet I’m still stuck in a rut.
Everyone’s star seems to have aligned and now their life is in order. They’re happy. I’m jealous
Is that Penny’s family? No way!
Oh, George recently got promoted to Chief Exec’. Splendid.
Look at Silvia – Gasp! – she’s sojourning in Bali.
Don’t let the Internet rush you, because no one posts their failures.
Unless you are using Social Media to promote your latest posts, share useful pointers about your next project, or grow your business, stay the hell away from it (especially at night). It will only drain and crush you.
6: Act Now
It’s surprising how I know what to do yet I don’t always do it. I grow cold feet and give up before I even start.
I over analyze and overthink why something won’t and can’t happen, and it doesn’t help I’m a perfectionist. Look, allow yourself to fail and see what happens.
People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do — Lewis Class
Every new project you start you will fail at it, and fail a lot. If you think you’ll ace everything on your first day then I’m sorry. So act now. Today. And don’t worry about failing.
It is easier to worry than to do something or anything. It is easier to conjure all manner of stories in your head about your current state of life — that there’s no way out of this difficult situation.
But it is not too late to believe again or to make your world better than it is.
You need to reorganize your priorities, tweak your goals, focus on what’s important and have confidence in your abilities.
So get out there and do something with yourself. Give things a new trial, don’t be lazy, and you will be happy about it.
You’ll get to a point where achieving success will be much, much easier for you, and you’ll gain a ton of confidence along the way. Good luck!
Originally published at medium.com