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Your Tribe

The Three Types of Friends You Should Have in Your Tribe

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  1. Fearless Adventurer – Being busy and stuck in our own over-packed stressful life often calls for a friend that will talk you into breaking loose and taking a load off. We all need someone that is fun, lighthearted, adventurous, and playful to encourage us let go of our schedule, and do something we would have never done otherwise. It’s good for our soul, mind and spirit and will most likely cause you to laugh, release endorphins and be more proud of yourself for doing it!
  2. Wise Counselor Confidant – There are situations in life (sometimes more often than we wish) where we just have to face the truth that comes right out of the mouth of someone closest to us. If you are struggling with a relationship dilemma or work situation, calling upon a trusted, wise friend can be invaluable. Being close to a situation will often keep us for seeing it as it really is. Taking off the rose colored glasses and Polly-Anna mindset, and getting smacked upside the head to wake up and see things for the way they are often happens by a trusted friend showing it to you up close and personal.
  3. Loyal Bestie – Sometimes when you are mining your fears out of your gut, to hopefully open your heart and spirit to new thoughts, goals, and challenges, all you really need is a loyal friend to hold your hair back while you throw up everything bugging you into the proverbial toilet of life. Loyal Besties are there for you no matter what, they know you, understand you, and are willing to let you make mistakes while they support you and mentor you, and most of all just listen well. 

Here are some of the rewards you’ll reap for your efforts building a tribe:

  • Support when you feel like giving up.
  • More energy and strength than you could ever generate alone.
  • Enrichment through many life-long relationships.
  • An encouraging community that allows you to make your passion your livelihood.
  • Feeling like the luckiest woman in the world to be surrounded by those who care about you and have your back.
  • And perhaps the greatest — and most unexpected — gift is that leading a community will serve as a catalyst for you to become a better human being.

Suggestions for gathering a TRIBE:

  1. Start with a clear intention and a desire to have the group you want. Consider listening to women or men talk and see how you feel in their presence. For example, do you feel “up,” supported, enlightened, or engaged? Can you see this person standing strong for you? Find common threads in those women out there whom you feel you can share things with to help you find more people who might be able to relate to you.
  2. Start small and stay focused. Try to not get 10 women in your group by week one. Pace yourself and don’t feel obligated to bring a member into your tribe that you know will be more work than you the have time or energy for. This is not a “play” group. This is your tribe. Treat it like a think tank; a support group of women who share similar goals, attitudes, or philosophies, working to create something none of them could create alone.  Think of the qualities you want your tribe to have. For instance, start with things like: doesn’t judge, has a sense of humor, is an artist, lives with wide-open passion, and/or is loyal. Look especially for 1-2 potential tribe members who don’t freak out about the small stuff as this is very important to have in a high-stress woman’s tribe.
  3. Take an inventory of your current friends, family, etc. This will help you determine if there is already the start of a tribe right in front of you. Stay true to what you want in your inner circle. Remember, this is not about feeling obligated to include someone just because you have known them your whole life.
  4. Listen to your inner voice and instincts. Listen to that “gut” feeling about a person. Your body will tell you. Do you feel drawn to them right away, like you’ve known them for years? Or do they make you put up your guard? Make good choices and listen to yourself.
  5. Pay attention to their social media Posts. This is a great way to root out the crazies. Do you like what you see? Is it for real? Consider starting a blog on something of interest— dogs, cooking, artwork, hiking, etc.— and see which like-minded people show up.
  6. Consider doing something you are passionate about (besides working): go to a class, join a club, or learn something new that you have always wanted to learn. Doing this you might be able to meet others with similar interests.
  7. Begin spending time with these women. Ask them if they want to meet for coffee, or a glass of wine before going home, or to go on a Saturday hike. Get to know them and then make up your mind if this person has the ability to be in your inner circle.
  8. Consider being deliberate about finding your tribe. Find two women you adore and trust and ask them to find two other women they adore. Then you can all meet for dinner and see how it feels. It’s like a friendship pyramid-scheme! Sometimes women brought in by other women are the best tribal members you can find, and you may not have found them unless your friend
  9. Find a common interest between you and your potential tribe members and invite them over. This could be a book club, hiking group, entrepreneurial group, retreat, etc. Try to stay off your phone and instead open up your heart and talk to others in the group and see how it feels. Keep it purposeful.
  10. Find a time that you all can meet regularly, or an event that you do regularly as you are forming your group. Even if you just start with one person and add women to the group as you go. Weekly coffee, walks, wine, dinner, or whatever common thread you might have will work— but the regular meet-ups are key here.
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