Your Disappointments Don’t Define You: 4 Reasons to Stop Calling Yourself ‘Damaged’

You are implying that you need someone to "fix" you.

Regardless of the circumstances, it goes without saying that we have all been hurt before. We may not have necessarily perceived the particular situation to be “heartbreak,” for the magnitude of the phrase holds too much weight. However, it did have enough of an impact that we were unable to bounce back right away. In addition to testing our resiliency, the experience caused us to reevaluate things that we were once so sure of.

We consistently hear about how critical it is to learn from our past mistakes, and to apply it to future situations. However, to get to that point, we cannot let these letdowns define us.

Sometimes we feel it’s easier to just accept the fact that we’re “emotionally damaged,” based on how things have panned out in the past. However, by adopting that outlook on life, we are admitting to others (and more importantly — ourselves) that we are incapable of rising above the disappointments.

Here are four reasons to stop claiming that you are doomed to be “damaged goods” forever:

1. You are implying that you need someone to “fix you” to achieve true happiness.

While support from others can be beneficial, an internal battle can’t ultimately be resolved by an outside source. Leaning on another person will provide temporary satisfaction, but may magnify the issue when that person is not around.

2. You will attract the wrong type of people.

By giving off the notion that you need to be fixed, you are also more likely to lure someone in who will take advantage of that. These kinds of people are captivated by the idea of holding that level of power, and it may primarily drive their decision to pursue you. Once you let them into your life, you might actually end up needing more “fixing” than you originally thought.

3. Your pessimistic viewpoint can be discouraging to others.

You might roll your eyes at the cheesiness of “lifting others up,” but it is something worth thinking about. Next time you catch yourself whining to a friend about how you are destined to be “forever alone,” acknowledge the fact that your negative outlook may be contagious. Without being too idealistic, it is possible to accept things for how they are and approach that practically.

4. Your lack of confidence is showing — big time.

Confidence is an attractive trait to have, and it’s not always the easiest to obtain. However, there’s no harm in trying. Throw your passion into other aspects of your life, and let the pieces fall where they may. When you are too hung up on your past disappointments, it will become increasingly more difficult to believe in yourself.

Over all, ask yourself this — are you a victim of your past, or a survivor? Your actions will reveal it all.

Originally published at

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