Your anxiety lies to you.
It lies and tells you that you are not good enough.
It lies and tells you that the worst possible scenario is a real possibility.
It lies and tells you that don’t deserve love, or friendship, or a voice.
It lies and tells you that you are not enough.
Recognizing the lies is the first step. Anytime you are feeling one of these lies, you need to tell yourself the truth. Talk to yourself. You NEED to speak truth to yourself. You believe whatever you tell yourself. When the lies come, they must be shut out. The lies must be overpowered by truth.
The truth is, you are good enough.
The truth is, you will be ok.
The truth is, you deserve love.
The truth is, you deserve friendship.
The truth is, you have a voice.
The truth is, you are enough.
Embrace your truth.
The second step in the process of overcoming anxiety is to use patterns and habits to create normalcy into difficult situations.
We need patterns. Anxiety is often caused by fear of the unknown. Patterns helps us face the unknown by placing the known variables in the forefront of our thought process. Once we consider the knowns, we are calmer and can navigate to the trickier waters of what we are worried about.
Find the patterns that do not change and embrace them. It could be the way you start your day, it could be the way you great others, it could be anything. Find patters and embrace them.
We all know that we cannot run from anxiety. It does not just go away. To face it is hard though. There are things we can do to help make facing each day and situation a bit easier.
Some might consider this third step in the process to be impractical or not important. They are wrong.
We know that we can practice breathing, or exercise, or prayer, or meditation, or talking it out with a trusted friend. These are all good ways to cope. Another way to acclimate is a way we might not traditionally think about when facing anxiety, it is something we all can do. It is something we all should do.
A final pattern that needs to become a habit is the practice of writing.
When we write we:
– Clear our minds
– Are more productive
– Simplify complex ideas
– Create space for innovation
– Find things to be grateful for
– Learn more
– Understand more
– Calm our mind
– Accept truth
– Embrace new ideas
– Settle our nerves
– Recognize our own feelings and emotions
– Reduce fear
Writing is important. You will benefit. All those around you will benefit. When combined with speaking your truth and embracing patterns, writing is one of the surest ways to help beat anxiety and the lies it tells.
Since January 1, 2017 I have written and published something every single day. Here is some of what I learned in October:
Oct 1 – Simply Beautiful
Simple is beautiful. So is complex. You can be both. You can share both. You can always be simple and you can always be complex. Knowing when and why is key to making the most out of every situation.
Oct 2 – Relationships in Every Situation
Too often those who are most important are not treated as such. We take for granted the people that bring us the highest level of fulfillment. Relationships matter the most. Worrying about what we cannot control damages relationships. Forcing ideas and opinions on others is always wrong. The best are able to think about others in every situation.
Oct 3 – Going Home
Going home should feel natural. When it doesn’t, then there is a relationship gap. Either the relationships are not strong enough or they have served their purpose and it is time to move on. Gaps in relationships don’t always need to be filled or bridged. There is a reason for every gap, learn the meaning and root cause and your life can improve. Home is where your most important relationships are. We can create home anywhere.
Oct 4 – Get Up and Do It
Getting up early to do something you care about is good. It is good for you. It is good for those around you. You become better. You become whole. When you are complete, you can help complete others. Do something for yourself so you can be better for others.
Oct 5 – Both Steps
Taking time to think about where you are going is just as important as the action itself. Both steps are useless without the other. Every day we should ask ourselves: Where will today’s actions take me? What can do today that will help others tomorrow?
Oct 6 – Finding Beauty Right Here
We all recognize beauty. Looking outward, it is easy to see. Yet, our own beauty might be hard to recognize. Sometimes looking inward to find beauty is the hardest of all. The elusive beauty that is right there the entire time. The recognize beauty we must appreciate our efforts, be thankful for what we have, and let go of all comparisons. Letting go is the foundation to accepting true beauty.
Oct 7 – Until it Isn’t
What you are searching for isn’t always the easiest thing to find. Yet, once you find it, you can’t believe how is easy it is to see. The contradiction is true for everything. Life is hard until it isn’t. Relationships are a struggle, until they aren’t. The trick is to endure through the hard to get to the good.
Oct 8 – True Reflection
When you think you are something, look in the mirror. The mirror doesn’t hide truth. Reflection is truth, often a truth we don’t want to see. Others can provide this reflection. You can ask yourself questions to find this reflection. However you decide to get it, seek out reflection and then adjust accordingly.
Oct 9 – Patient Influence
Forcing our way into a position might work for the short term, be might love the results. Longer term, consistency and inspirational persuasion has a greater impact. As we focus on the wants of others, nothing needs to be forced. Our influence will be wanted and accepted.
Oct 10 – Seeing the Future
Sometimes we think we can’t see the future. But we can. We can create it with the choices we make. When we choose to be with one person, we know that our future is with them. Who they are is the future we are embracing. When we choose to spend our energy doing something, we know that the effort expended will result in that same fruit down the road. Just like we can see the we will be if we follow the light that guides, we can we see the future by who and what we follow.
Oct 11 – Contrasts
We must have certainty while embracing uncertainty. We must have adventure while embracing stability. We must give love, we must receive love. We must contribute, we must receive from others. Live is a story of contrasts that work together in harmony to create fulfillment.
Oct 12 – The Choice to Do Right
Every choice we have is a like a fork in the road of life. We can choose to do what we know is right, or we can choose another path. Either way, it is always our choice.
Happy Lucia Birgit has chosen today to be baptized. Love you.
Oct 13 – Best Time
It will never be a good time. There will always be that elusive BETTER time sometime down the road when you are more prepared, more ready, more stable. The problem is, that BETTER time doesn’t exist. While there is no good time, and the BETTER time is a myth. The BEST time is right NOW. Take action now. Don’t wait.
Oct 14 – Forget It
Sharing care and love for others is easy when you forget to be selfish.
Oct 15 – Perspective Shifts
Your ability to change your perspective is your number 1 tool to changing your entire life. Don’t ruin it by being negative or thinking your ability is not important. Nothing is more important. Help yourself by constantly changing your perspective.
Oct 16 – Beauty is What We Want
We all want beauty. Beauty in thought. Beauty in action. Beauty in relationships. Hurting others never creates beauty. Hurting others is a sign of ugliness. Sometimes we do things we don’t want. We do it out of ignorance, we do it out of spite, out of carelessness, or even out of desire. The ability to see the bigger picture allows to really pursue what we deep down know we need. If we can focus on the beauty of everything around us, we will be happier.
Oct 17 – Seeing Past It
No barrier is permanent. Most obstacles still allow you to plan for the future. Just because now isn’t the right time doesn’t mean that it never will be. Take all the action you can, to be ready for when the struggle is overcome. When the fence that controls is used to propel and lift. Focus on the goal not the barrier.
Oct 18 – Consistent Singles
Steady growth wins. Sometimes hitting home runs works, and they are always needed. Grand Slams don’t happen enough to be relied on though. It is not just about ability with grand slams, the conditions need to be perfect as well. When you can’t control the conditions you can only control your actions. Singles and doubles will always more than sufficient. Focus on the little actions that will produce consistent results, sometimes you will create some amazing results and you can combine those big and small wins to create something extremely valuable.
Oct 19 – Feeding Memories
Your memory never equals the experience. Sometimes it is better. Sometimes it is worse. The memory we feed is the memory that stays strong. All of our clients have memories. All of our colleagues have memories. Every person we interact with has a memory. Help them feed the right memories. Give them something to remember and then help they keep remembering it.
Oct 20 – Creating Hope
Hope isn’t created out of thin air. Hope is the air. Hope doesn’t magically appear. Hope is magic. Hope isn’t everything working correctly. Hope is the possibility of everything working. We can all create more hope by helping others find success. The more we encourage others, the more hope we will find.
Oct 21 – True Strength & Control
Controlling others is a sign of weakness. Controlling yourself is a sign of strength. Be Strong.
Oct 22 – Showing Your Care
When you know someone cares, nothing else matters. Nothing they do is too bad, nothing they do is too wrong. Caring about others solve most of the world’s relationship problems. Learning to care is important. Learning to SHOW that you care is just as important. Show your care and your entire world will become better.
Oct 23 – Anxiety Causing Situations
Don’t avoid things because they make you anxious. Find a way to manage the situation. Find a way to manage your feelings. Often, things that make us anxious are good for us, are need for our growth. Behavior is learned. Learning to deal with anxiety inducing situations makes us stronger in the end.
Oct 24 – Expect Better
Our expectations are the only thing that determine happiness and fulfillment. The expectations we have the go unmet are the greatest cause of stress and anxiety in our lives. Controlling expectations and our response to those expectations is the only way to truly live free and fulfilled.
Oct 25 – No Hidden Message
Finding hidden meaning is great in art and literature. Horrible with relationships. When we search for hidden meaning, we always find it, even if it is not true. With the people you care about most, take them for who they are, not what you think they might be, or might be hiding. Meaning should be clear. If it is not, you probably got it wrong. Don’t assume. Just accept.
Oct 26 – Lead by Leading
Your greatest ability is the skill that lets you help people accomplish their potential. Find it! People want to be lead. They do not want to be manipulated or tricked. Lead people to where they need and want to go, not where you assume they need to be. Your job is to support and help, not to determine meaning for them.
Oct 27 – New Zone
To do anything worthwhile, we need to get out of our comfort zone. The bigger our comfort zone, the more effort we need to expend. Anxiety in its various forms always accompanies a traveler who is expanding their comfort zone. Get used to it and learn to cope with the feelings you feel.
Oct 28 – Defining Empathy
Empathy is misunderstood. No mere mortal can ever EXACTLY know or feel what someone else is going through. In that sense, empathy is always false. Yet, we can “practice empathy” by listening to understand. We can practice empathy by focusing on the needs of others. This practice enables us to be more present and better suited to help when the time comes. We need empathy. But, like perfection, it is not ours to have or master right now, it is only ours to strive for.
Oct 29 – Beautiful Contradictions
Contradiction is what creates beauty. Find your own contradictions, embrace them, and that is where you will find your greatest strength.
Oct 30 – Other Lenses
The lenses do not create anything. The reality doesn’t change. Our perception and ability to see can change based on the lenses we use. Often we need to different lenses to get the full picture. Never assume one lens shows the entire truth. Learn to use other lenses to see more. When you see more you can help more.
Oct 31 – Fear Can Be Used to Build Trust
We all get scared. Different things make us feel scared. Just because something doesn’t scare you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t scare others. Helping others overcome their fears is one of the fastest ways to building trust.
As we go about our day…
We should remember, every day is someone else’s day as well.
Every human connection helps drive away numerous problems. Build connection by sharing yourself with others. The more we influence others for the good, the better our own lives become.