I worried often how they were going to turn out better than me. How could I keep them away from the dysfunction. I fought through it and broke away and was able to get them into their teen years without any major disasters. Life went on, marriages happen and siblings came into play. I now have many children and I love them all so much but my older two hold a very special place in my heart as we grew up together.
One day driving in my car Christopher turned to me and said ” you know ma one day your going to miss this”. I brushed him off as I was rushing to get him to school because he missed the bus. He is such a kind hearted kid and was always saying things like that. Our lives were crazy busy and I was always running. Always trying to get them where they need to be, yelling if the dishes were not done or the house was a mess.
Now that they have both moved on grown up and are out in the world, I see how right he was. Christopher is deployed now and Lexis lives states away. Both happy and successful and I am beyond proud, but I do in fact miss it all. I miss the mess, I miss the arguments to get off the video games, the teenage attitudes and late night conversations about what they were doing with their lives. I still have a home full of children, and it is still a mess but I miss them. Empty nest is real even when the nest isn’t fully empty. Trust me, my husband and I still have our hands full.
One piece of advice I can give is to slow down. The house will get clean, the bills will get paid and you will find a way. Instead of trying to figure everything out sit back take a breath and take it all in. These moments are so important and time goes so fast. New chapters begin when you are running and it can be to late before you even realize how far life has actually gone. Say what you need to say!
I’ll Always Find A Way~