Have you ever felt stuck in life?
Have you ever felt there was so much more in life?
Have you ever reached for your dreams, but they seem so far away?
Many people have big dreams for themselves. And after many years, they find themselves still doing the same thing. You’re making little or no progress towards your goals. What’s up with that?
In the past ten years of Life Coaching, I’ve witnessed people go for their goals. And I’ve discovered patterns in goal getting. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t work.
In this article, I share with you the mistakes we make when going for our goals. Moreover, I share powerful tools that can help you overcome these mistakes and make your goals more powerful.
So you can go for your goals and live life to the fullest.
You’ve got Goal Getting all wrong. Let me tell you how.
1.) It’s not your goal.
“Before you climb a ladder,
make sure it’s leaning on the wall
you truly want to climb.”
In our lives, we’ve learned to listen to other people. The problem is, most people don’t know what you truly want in life. Our parents said you need to be a doctor, or a lawyer or a professional. Your teacher said you need to conform to the standards. Your ex- said you’ll never be enough or never be worthy.
Years later, you start to wonder why you’re stuck in a job you don’t like. Or achieving accolades that don’t matter to you.
When you look at your goals, ask yourself: “Why is this important?”
For some people, it will make your parents happy.
For others, your goal is to prove your enemy wrong.
And for others still, you are compensating for something lacking.
If you’re honest enough, you might discover that your goal is NOT important to you at all.
That’s what we call “False Choice”. It wasn’t your true goal after all.
People who pursue False Choice goals may eventually achieve it — but the achievement will be empty. Because your measure of success is based on someone else’s dream.
Here’s how to fix this. You have to find your “True Choice”. When you write your goal, ask yourself:
“Why is this goal truly important to ME?”
Keep asking yourself “Why?”.
If you need to, modify your goal so that it becomes more meaningful for you.
The more honest you are with yourself, the more meaning your goal will have, the more your goal will be your True Choice.
“What is my goal?
Why is this truly important to me?”
2.) Your end-goal ain’t clear.
“If your destination ain’t clear,
any road will take you there!”
If you described your goal to someone, will they have a picture of your goal? If not, you’ll want to paint a picture of your goal more specifically. If you don’t have a picture of your goal, how will you know you’ve reached it?
One of the powerful tools we have for this is called SMART-V Goals. Many people have heard about SMART Goals. It stands for:
We’ve added a V to make it SMART-V.
V stands for “Values”
Here’s the powerful Question:
“By going for your goals,
what values are you developing?”
Are you developing patience? Discipline? Being Trusting? Embracing your self-worth?
You need to be clear about your values.
This is what will keep you going for your goals despite the obstacles.
3.) Your goal doesn’t challenge you
“If it doesn’t challenge you,
it you won’t change you.”
Here’s one measure: Does your goal scare you?
If it doesn’t scare you, you’re short-changing yourself.
You’re going for a goal that’s within your comfort zone.
You’ve got to dream big to attract big resources and open big doors!
We have another tool for this. It’s called BHAG.
BHAG stands for “Big Hairy Audacious Goals!”
When a goal is BHAG, it is bigger than anything you’ve ever aimed for before. It’s bigger than what your current self can do. It’s hairy and scary.
“Fear is a natural response
to stepping towards your true self.”
If you have some fear within, that’s a good thing! It means you’re stepping towards your true self! It must be Audacious. It must make some of your friends think: “Really?! You have the gall to think you could achieve that?”
When your goals are BHAG, your body gets goosebumps just by writing your goal. It turns on something powerful within you, makes your heart sing! And THAT is a goal that you know will change you.
Does your goal challenge you? If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you.
The true joy in you goal getting is that it changes you. You discover something new. You discover a new way of being. You discover a new way of living.
If you’re going for your goals, you’ve got to do something different from what you’ve done in the past. If you’ve read this far, it looks like you’re committed to making something for yourself. I hope these three tools will help you move forward to fulfilling your goals. You owe it to yourself. Do it for yourself.
Do you agree? Disagree? What works for you? Share in the comments section.
Coming up next: How to harness the power that fuels your goal.
Cheering you on!