Do you believe that being single is a lot better than being in a relationship? Well, after what I have seen, heard, and experienced, I can say without any doubt or second thought in my mind that I don’t need anyone else to be happy in life and neither do you. If you are in a relationship, ask yourself these eye-opening questions and answer them in your mind:
- Am I really my true self when I’m with my partner?
- Am I avoiding my friends because of just one person?
- Can I do the things I love when my partner is around?
- Do I have my free will to do anything or go anywhere or talk to anyone without facing heart-breaking consequences?
- Is this really how I wanted to live?
- Do I want to live like this for the rest of my life?
- Am I really happy?
I’m sure if you are in a wrong relationship, the answers to all these questions will be negative. Moreover, it’s very hard to be in the right relationship nowadays which is actually positive for your life.
I’m saying all this because I have experienced a toxic relationship myself. And I’m not trying to get any sympathy, in fact, I’m happier now that I’m single and really have time for myself and my family. My goal with this article is to help anyone who is in a wrong relationship and needs a heart to heart with reality. This article will be me telling you about my story and making you realize that being single is way better than being in a relationship.
So, I was in the final year of my degree and I was just sitting in the cafeteria with my friends. I don’t know if it was my instinct or something that God wanted me to do, I turned around to look towards the entrance of the cafeteria while I was talking to my friends. That’s when I first saw her and at that moment it seemed like she fell from heaven just for me, like she was a blessing bestowed upon me from God. These things sound silly to me now.
The next day, I again saw her in the library. She was sitting with her friends trying to make notes for her class as the semester had already started two months back and she just joined the previous day. I really started to like her and sometimes I thought to myself, “you are in the final year and she’s in her first, stop being stupid, what you’re thinking is not possible. However, every time there was something that knocked this thought out of my head.
One day, I was sitting with my best friend on a bench in the main ground of the college and I was flabbergasted when I saw her walking towards me. Finally, she was standing in front of me so I naturally stood up (my heart racing). “Will you help me with the communication skills assignment?”she said, “I heard that you are the one with the best knowledge of the subject”, she further added. I couldn’t even say a word and I kept staring at her like she a work of Picasso. That’s when my best friend tried to break the ice by saying, “yes of course! That’s the only subject he’s good in, haha”. I gave him the “you are dead” look, however, I spared him when she said, “great let’s start working on the assignment”. Before I could say anything, my friend left me alone with her and gave me a *wink* while he was walking away. I helped her with the assignment and then we exchanged our numbers because she needed further help in the subject.
Soon, the conversations were not just about studies anymore. We started to talk over the phone almost all the time. She was able to talk to me anytime as she was a hostler and so was I. There was nothing stopping us from coming closer and closer day by day. Before I knew it, we started giving each other nicknames, you know, just a thing couples do.
After doing this for a month, I finally gathered the courage to tell her about my feelings. I called her to meet me after college hours in the cafeteria. The classes ended at 4:00 PM, however, the cafeteria and the campus was accessible for the hostlers till 8:00 PM. We both reached the cafeteria by 7:00 PM and after just sitting there silently for 30 minutes, on December 5th, 2008 at 7:30 PM, I told her about my feelings. She started blushing and ran to the girls’ hostel. I just sat there in the cafeteria with a broken heart and with a frown on my face. Just when a tear started to run down my cheek, I got a message from her “me too”. My heart filled with joy and I cannot begin to explain how happy I was at that moment. Huh, only if I knew what was about to happen in a year.
That night, we talked for hours and the next day I introduced her as my girlfriend to my friends. Everything was going well until I started spending what was left of my college life with her instead of the people who were there for me since the last four years before that. I almost stopped talking to every other important person in my life. It was like my whole life was dedicated to her.
Two or three months after that, I completed my degree and I had to leave college. I still remember that I spent my whole day with her instead of the people whom I should’ve spent that time with. Our relationship went on for almost a year after that and I knew that I was in love with her. I even talked to my parents about her and I wanted her to meet them. However, when I asked her about it, she refused. I was shocked and a “why?” slipped out of my mouth. She said, “My parents will never allow this because my dad wants me to marry his childhood friend’s son”. I asked, “then why were you in a relationship with me?”. Her reply broke my heart into pieces and what she said after that, shattered those pieces as well. She said, “Because I love you, but I cannot be with you forever. It’s just not possible for us”, she further added, “in fact, we should just stop talking to each other. It would be best for both of us to move on.”
I tried to contact her many times after that, however, could never reach her. Yes, that was our last conversation. For many months I felt miserable because she broke my heart and guilty because I neglected my friends and family to be with her. I felt so weak and broken that I thought I would never be able to overcome this pain. Until one day I decided to say, “enough is enough”. I remembered the trip I took to Australia with my grandfather when I was 14 years old. I remembered how happy I was back then and that’s what motivated me to become the man I am today. I packed my bags, booked one ticket to Australia, and spent a month in that country.
As I was exploring the beautiful country of Australia, I started writing about my experiences. I made writing my habit after that and noticed that it made me happy. I started writing about everything I felt and everywhere I went. I realized that this is the happiest I have ever been in my life.
After being a traveler, writer, and reviewer (also single) for more than 10 years, I have realized that you don’t anyone else to be happy in life. And that being single is way better than being dependent on someone.
This article is not meant to disrespect that girl (whom I cannot name for obvious reasons) or anyone else’s feelings. It is for those who might need it and to make them realize that they can be happy with only themselves by doing what they love and being & loving who they are.
I hope this article gave you the motivation you needed and helped you the way I wanted it to. Be happy and love yourself. And always remember, you don’t need anyone else to be happy in life.