If you have faced some difficulties, and that’s why you’re worried, it’s not so bad, but if your inner voice whispers that you will fail and you aren’t worth anything, the situation must be taken under control. Success and disappointments are different sides of the same coin, for that reason, so you shouldn’t give up and lose belief in your strength.
Why is it important to accept yourself as you are and have adequate self-esteem?
Negative attitude toward yourself doesn’t appear from anywhere. There are always certain preconditions and reasons for underestimating your personality. They may be found while we analyze somebody’s experience and background. Looking back to the past you can determine the root of the problem, but this isn’t enough to see and understand the whole importance of the adequate self-esteem. Beliefs, attitudes behaviors and human experiences from the very beginning of his life till present days greatly affect the perception of himself and the others. The experience of feeling love, acceptance and compassion nurtures a person who a positive understanding of who he is in this world. The critical attitudes and negative experience, on the contrary, put pressure on the child and cause problems in adulthood.
No one is perfect, and we are always influenced by both good and bad experiences, but it’s not a reason to despair. Even if someone made a mistake that affected you, it doesn’t mean you doomed to go down the same road. The key point is to be able to separate your present from the past and clearly see your good and bad sides. It may sound strange, but underestimation is a wide-spread phenomenon in our days. No one is immune to it, and the story of Rihanna, who asked for therapy from a life coach for low self-esteem, only confirms this fact. There is a list of signs that show it’s time to stop underestimating yourself:
• You constantly compare yourself to the others.
• You are a kind of person usually called a people pleaser.
• The flow of self-criticism is endless.
• Your squad is depleting you.
• You are tired of the struggle.
What to do with underestimation? How to tame your inner critic?
Underestimation does not always mean the lack of confidence, this phenomenon is better to describe as the fear to show true self. In addition to believing in yourself, you should take care of opening yourself up to opportunities, as they motivate and force you to move forward.
1. Life can’t provide you with guarantees. Life offers us a lot of great opportunities, and using them you may succeed and feel more confident or get a rejection and accept disappointment. It’s impossible to predict everything, and in any case, you shouldn’t call yourself a loser. This is a normal state of affairs, today you lose something, but the next day you can find even more.
2. Faith in your own dream doesn’t make you arrogant. You should believe in the goal you have set, even if other people don’t share your opinion. We often overestimate the importance of other people’s views on some particular issue, and that’s not correct. In some particular situations their opinions may come in handy, but you should keep in mind one thing. You will achieve the goal only if you believe that your dream potential is strong enough to overcome challenges.
3. Follow your own rules. This point is related in a certain way to the previous one, but still, it must be stressed. Sometimes it may happen that family members want to control our feelings and impose their point of view. Don’t be afraid of saying no to your relatives, and it can’t be regarded as disrespectful to them. You should present a vision of some issue from your perspective, in this way you will make your position clear.
One more reason to make this step is to share your knowledge with people: you’re familiar and comfortable with Apple newest devices and updates – start freelance article writing; you like cooking – make a YouTube channel with recipe videos; but don’t just stand there.
4. Listen to your intuition. Modern people prefer to rely on the logical approach, and this can be explained by the fear of failure, but we can’t always learn from the advice of others. Anyway, mistakes are a source of experience. On the other hand, pay attention to your gut feeling, because if you succeed, then your joy and satisfaction will be increased by several times.
5. You should tame your inner critic. Very often the inner critic is very insidious, it may even fool you. Every time you feel attacks of inner criticism you should write down the self-hating or self-shaming thoughts. After that, you should respond to them, but you must write about yourself with the respect. The more you recognize your inner voice, the clearer you see its influence on your behavior, and as a result, you can correct it.
Every person has strengths and weaknesses, but this is not a reason to humiliate yourself. If you happened to face the issue of underestimation, no doubts, you should handle it. This process may be lengthy, but the final result is worth the effort and time you spent. You shouldn’t be ashamed if you need third-party support, it’s even better if you rely on specialists.