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You Always Have A Choice

Life is made up by the choices we make everyday

While most people think there are many things we have to do, I believe that we always have a choice and we don’t have to do anything. Before I explain this more in detail, I want you to take some time to ask yourself the question how it would affect your life, when you knew that you have a choice, always?

Is there anything in your life that you would like to change but right now you don’t have any other choice? Is there something that you are dreaming of, but you don’t see any way of getting there? Is there something you really don’t want to do, but you feel trapped and don’t see any other option? Think of the things you would like to change. What are they? How do they make you feel? How would you feel if you could change something about it?

Now, imagine you had a choice and you could change something. What would you do? Give yourself as much time as you need to think through it. Imagine, in detail, how changing this part of your life would affect your entire life. You can come back here in a minute. Because when we find a solution for something that we thought wasn’t possible, our brain needs some time to process that. Give it the time needed. Even if it seems totally surreal right now but you have a choice, I will show you that you can indeed choose anything in a way that makes you happy.

I hope you took some time to imagine a world where you can change this one thing or the many things, that feel like set in stone. Because now you are about to take your power back. The power to make decisions. The power to set boundaries. The power to be who you truly want to be (and already are inside). The power to speak your truth. The power to make a difference. The power to create the life you always wanted to have. Are you ready to get your power back? Let’s do this!

It all starts with creating awareness of what is. Of what really is. 

What I mean by that is, we all look at life and especially at our own life, with filters. Filters that we created through all the experiences we had in life so far. For example, we learned that fire is hot and that we shouldn’t touch it therefore or it will cause us pain. Whenever we look at fire or something that we know (or think) is hot, we look at it with the filter (or the experience) that it causes pain and we will automatically be very careful not to touch it. All of us make different and a lot of experiences and keep on creating new filters, filtered by the old filters throughout our life time – a lot of filters, I know. But just to give you an idea.

How do these filters apply to you creating awareness and finally being able to make more conscious choices in your life? We not only have helpful filter for things like fire, that prevent us from hurting ourselves, but also filters that hold us back from making decisions. We might have already been through a similar situation or were taught by parents or someone else that there is no other way and you don’t have a choice in this specific matter. We mostly think we are so conscious of everything and only make conscious and logical decision, while even science states that somewhere around 95% of our decisions are made subconsciously and often based on prior experiences. If we don’t make a conscious effort to question the situation we are in and the decision we are about to make, we might find ourselves deciding based on old filters, that don’t apply on the present moment anymore. Which means, we overlook the other possibilities we might have, that we would like much more. Take back your power! Don’t let past experiences or other people’s experiences hold you back from living the life you want to live. Start asking more questions. Question everything about the situation and even your way of looking at it. Until you see what really is. This is how you create awareness. You look at the things, question everything and analyze the status quo, without yet judging it or making any decision. Simply observe and create awareness of what is now and overcome the old filters you might be looking through.

Having observed the situation, the people in it, as well as your perception of what is, without judging any of it, you will see the options you have. You might not like all of them, maybe none. But again, at this point it doesn’t matter whether you like the options you have or not. But you see what you have, and this gives you the chance to work with it.

This is the first part. Creating awareness of what is, without judging it. Now you can start thinking about which of the option that you have are relevant to you. Now you have two options. You might either find yourself happy because you found an option that you didn’t see before and can start doing things differently and be the conscious creator of your life. Or you might find yourself in the same situation as before. You don’t like any of the options you have, and it feels as if you wouldn’t really have any. And here comes the second very important part of making decisions as someone who took their power back. If you don’t like any of the options and you feel or know that you can’t make a difference in the situation, you can always control how you react to this. This is where the magic really happens. Finding a solution that we like and adjust our life to it, is easy. But if none of the options make us happy, this is where we are responsible for our own happiness. This is where the real work starts. Accepting that even though we have a lot of options, we don’t like them and living with this decision. Accepting what is, trusting that it is for a reason and knowing that life is still beautiful. While the world spins, so many things happen. But the world keeps spinning. Even when things don’t work out the way we want them to, our life goes on and those are the times where we learn a lot about ourselves. And when things don’t work out, very often, we are grateful for it at some point in our lives. Did this ever happen to you?

I used to lead a fashion company. I loved it. It was everything I wanted back then. I was successful, and I couldn’t imagine trading it for anything else. In the year when we decided to shut down the company, for the first time in my life, I didn’t have a plan what to do after. I had many options, even very good ones. But I didn’t like any of them, although I was dreaming of those offers years before. Going through this challenging time, I learned a lot about myself. Who I really am, what my true values are and where I wanted to take my life to. I am grateful that things didn’t work out the way I wanted them to back then. Because they brought me somewhere I am really happy now. And believe me, it didn’t feel like it back then at all. I didn’t think of it like that, too. I hated it and today I love it.

We always have a choice. We need to become truly aware of what is and get over the old filters from the past to see clearly. Once we sorted the options available to us, we can start evaluating them and making plans. If we decide that we don’t like the option given, we need to decide how we want to handle our reaction to this and our feelings about it. This is the time we start asking different questions. Deeper questions and get deeper insights in who we truly are. You have the power to create your life, even and especially when things don’t work the way you want them to!

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