Confident people move toward a goal or idea, no matter how uneasy they feel about it, or how uncertain the outcome could be. They actually imagine that they could fail, or that the result could be undesirable. Once they have already added that possibility to the process, there’s nothing left to fear, because there isn’t an “unknown”. That final piece makes it easier for them to move forward with action while others become paralyzed, because the fear of the unknown is an uncomfortable and undesirable place to be. So we stop ourselves, and that leads to an even greater lack of confidence.
Walking with great confidence into a room looks exactly the same as walking into that room “acting” confident. You know, a kind of “fake it til you make it” thing. Everyone that sees you walk in sees a self assured person that is at ease and comfortable in their own skin. Do you think those people know it’s an act? Not if it’s done well. There are a few ways to get better at flexing that confidence muscle, whether it’s social, at work, or in a family setting.
Take feedback well
Most people are so quick to take offense to any type of feedback. This is a problem. If you are certain that the person offering it up is sincerely trying to be constructive, why wouldn’t you listen? Outsiders can often see things that you are blind to simply because those things are habits that you don’t really think about. What if the suggestion is exactly what you need to become more approachable, sell more, be a better listener, or make more money, and you are digging your heels in because of pride? Make an effort to trust feedback and be objective about how it could improve your situation. You could really be missing something big.
Take smaller steps
It’s hard to remain confident when you’re thinking of pursuing a large goal or task. It’s a big reason why many people’s best ideas remain “on the drawing board” or just part of casual conversation about the “could haves” in their lives. Everything you want to do can be broken down into a series of small steps. Start with the simplest one and work toward the end goal, creating a checklist for yourself. As you work through the list, things will become more clear, seem achievable, and you’ll start to believe it can happen.
Learn how to take compliments
Let some positivity sink in for yourself. When someone compliments your work, project, parenting skills, talent, or anything about you, don’t be so quick to shoo it away. Let it in, and even ask for more details. For example, if you get great feedback on an event you planned, ask, “Really? Why do you think that was so much better this time?” That compliment can really build up some good vibes, not to mention that positive reinforcement is a proven tool to bolster a strong desire to do even better next time. Take the compliment and learn from it.
Take your shot-if you don’t you’ll make none of them
You will face rejection, things won’t go exactly as planned, and your great ideas may fall flat. But if you don’t take the risk and move forward anyway, all you’re left with is a feeling of fear, insecurity from of all the things you “can’t do” because of (fill in the blank.). And you will always be able to fill in the blank. That’s one thing most people are good at…making excuses for not taking the shot. Remember that the happy people you see that are successful at life definitely took their shots, and likely missed a load of them before things worked out. Taking chances is the price of admission to being confident and successful.
You’re good at things, you may just need to remember them
We have all been given a talent or a gift, and though many people will question that, it’s true. When you were a young kid, there was something that you loved to do. Adults told you that you were really good at it, maybe even casually, but it happened. Or maybe you’ve always been obsessed with someone and that’s because what they do is your thing too, you just lack the belief in yourself to do it. Do yourself a favor and think about those two points; what you enjoyed, were admired for or complimented on, and who have you consistently idolized for the thing they do. It’s possible that your purpose may be hiding right there, and when you think you have discovered it, you should start to look at ways to slowly add it into your life. Who knows, it could lead you to something amazing. Doing the thing you love leads to success in life because passion and skill are great motivators. Find the thing and go after it.
It’s time to step into confidence, even if that first step is an act. Eventually every consistent action becomes a habit, and that means that by walking into that room like the queen you know you are, even though you don’t quite believe it yet, will set that royalty reality in motion. Remember, no one else will ever know about that little voice of doubt inside of you if you walk in like a boss.
Can you do it? Yas, Queen, you can.