Worth and value. What is something worth? How do we determine that? How do we determine the value of something? Something valuable to one person might be inconsequential to the next person. They say something is only worth what someone is willing to pay for it. If that’s the case then how do we determine self worth? How do we calculate our value? There are things in each of us that we consider valuable traits. What makes something valuable? How do we measure that? Traits that I might consider valuable in a person might not matter at all to the next person. So when I say I know my worth, my worth isn’t worth the same to another person.
Let’s say I value honesty at a 10 and looks at a 7 and money at a 4. That’s 21. That’s a value. The next person might see honesty at a 2 and looks are a 10 and money is a 0. So 12. So someone that is fairly attractive, honest and doing ok financially is going to rank differently to me than to the next person. So when talking about wanting someone else to know your worth, or wanting someone to see your worth, they’re not going to see the same things that you see. They’re not going to value the same things exactly the same as you do. Some people match their socks to their shirt while others don’t even match their socks. Everyone’s perception, and therefore everyone’s reality, is different. The filters we use are made from our unique life experiences.
So we need some reframing and finding a different way of looking at it. Instead of “I know my worth and I want other people to see my worth” maybe we should be focusing on surrounding ourselves with people that value things similarly as we do. If we surround ourselves with people that rank honesty the same and rank money the same and rank humor the same, whatever it is, we’ll have commonality. You will know that they value YOU if you value the same things the same way. So instead of “I’m going to hope and wish and make you see how great my sense of humor is” surround yourself with people who already see that. That will increase the value you feel in yourself if the people around you are reinforcing your value and your worth. People who don’t share it might not see it so they won’t reinforce it. You’ll end up questioning. Questioning yourself and questioning if what you have is really worth something or not. Does it really matter? Does your impeccable fashion sense really mean a thing? Does your sense of humor really matter to anyone? Does your honesty really count towards anything? If you’re around people that value what you value then you’ll be less likely to question when in the presence of someone who doesn’t value things the same as you do. You’ll be able to accept that their views on things are different from yours but that doesn’t diminish you at all. Someone not seeing your worth won’t matter as much to you because you’ll have plenty of people in your life that show you that the traits you hold in high regard are held in high regard by some other people as well.
Traits that you value in yourself, your work ethic, your integrity, your sense of humor, your ability to recite all the lines from obscure 80’s movies, are all worth something. Finding the people that value the same traits will add more value to your life. One of my favorite quotes is by Dita Von Teese, “You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” If you are a peach then surround yourself with peach people. Don’t get upset because the broccoli people don’t appreciate what you have to offer. Everyone has something to offer. The goal is to find the people that appreciate what you bring to the table.
So, are you a peach at a peach party or a peach at a broccoli party?