Community//

Won’t you be my neighbor?

How to relax and be joyful in a judgmental world

Fred Rogers taught us that joy and kindness are the natural condition for both children and adults.
Are you, like Fred Rogers, one of the "Joyful Ones?"

I was out for our regular early morning walk with my beautiful wife the other day. It was one of those perfect mornings – warm sunshine, blue sky, low humidity, birds singing and the magnolias beginning to blossom.

About halfway through the walk a man crossed our path. We called a ‘good morning!’ greeting and he came back with a huge smile and called out, “It’s a beautiful day in our neighborhood!” That made us both smile as we instantly recognized the reference from the beloved Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood TV show that brought delight and comfort to so many from the late, great Fred Rogers.

Our newly encountered friend obviously made the connection too as he quickly followed with, “Won’t you be my neighbor?,” which made us both giggle.

Why do we judge ourselves so harshly?

But then the judgmental, disapproving grown-up in him took over and he said, “Did I actually say that out loud?” and went on down the sidewalk.

Personally, I was both impressed and delighted that a 60-something man would come out with such a warm and friendly greeting to a pair of complete strangers. I didn’t find it strange, inappropriate or silly at all. Instead, I found it heart-warming and uplifting. Yet, his reaction showed that he was a little embarrassed by his spontaneous and joyful outburst.

Why do we judge ourselves harshly for being joyful?

Looking for the joyful ones

Gail and I spend a lot of time in airports, and they provide some of the best people-watching opportunities around. When it comes to classifying those we observe, we have two favorites – the under-seven’s and the ‘Joyful Ones.’ Both are rare species.

The under-seven’s are those sparkly children who are so full of life and joy and wonder that they’re completely oblivious to those around them. They skip and jump and dance down the concourse, jiving to some happy music that the rest of us only wish we could hear. I watched one the other day who was practicing cartwheels in the boarding lounge! I laughed out loud with delight!

The Joyful Ones also make us feel great. These are the folks whose faces, body language and general vibe give away the fact that there’s something going on inside that has chosen to tune out the incessant CNN sadness blaring from the monitors. Could be an elderly couple holding hands as they make their way to their connecting gate. Could be a person walking alone, but with an unconscious smile on her face. Or a couple of businessmen, laughing as they share a joke.

Why does a grown man feel embarrassed by calling out a joyful greeting? Why do I never see anyone over seven practicing cartwheels in a boarding lounge? Why do I have to look so hard to find someone who is actually smiling? Why do we feel so self-conscious about being spontaneous and joyful?

The basis of life is joy

It’s easy to claim that it’s hard (even foolish?) to be joyful when the world is such a dreadful place. How can anyone be joyful in the face of terrorism, climate change, raging partisanship and uncertain economies? It’s easy to quote Thomas Hobbes who claimed that life is “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short.”

Well, Tom was just plain wrong because the basis of life is joy. But you have to choose it. In every moment we must consciously, courageously choose to stand out from the crowd and be joyful.

So here’s your challenge on this beautiful day: Smile. When you walk down the street, think about something that makes you happy and see what happens to your face. Think about someone you love and feel your mouth start to turn upwards. Think about a time when you accomplished a big goal and feel that pride swelling in your chest.

I’m not asking for cartwheels in the boarding lounge, but I’d love to count you among the Joyful Ones today.

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