As women, we are taught to spend our lives worshipping and paying attention to the external world, concentrating more on physical aspects and appearances, always focusing on what’s on the outside. By doing this, we are trying to win the approval of others, thus losing our identity and becoming dependent on them. When our lives depend on the outside, we stop doing what works for us, what brings us satisfaction and we become unhappy.
When we are not our real selves, and we don’t feel good about ourselves, we turn into hunters. For example, we see men as preys we must attract and, with that purpose in mind, waste time and the powerful and valuable energy that we could be investing in getting to know ourselves and doing what makes us happy.
Women are endowed with the power of creation. We can give life and overcome enormous obstacles and pain to do so. This powerful inner strength we possess is precisely what we can use to create and develop ourselves as individuals.
When we begin thinking on our own terms, seeking the answers within and stop depending on the opinion of others, we find the power and wisdom inherent to our gender. We connect with our sixth sense.
Sometimes our sensitivity and emotional connection with our surroundings does not allow us to see the whole picture, and we perceive events as problems instead of realizing that they truly are opportunities to grow and develop.
To face the challenges that inevitably come into our way in life, we must stop concentrating on the outside and instead develop our great inner strength using more unique, creative and personal criteria. We need to believe in ourselves.
Our true strength resides in our ability to love and accept ourselves just the way we are. Inside ourselves, we can find the answers we seek and the solutions to all our problems. We can find our true happiness.
To reach our maximum potential, it is important to wake up and free ourselves from the limiting social mandates indicating that it is our duty to multiply the species and sacrifice our own wellbeing to properly care for our children.
We have been repeating this false belief for so long that it now rings true. The time has now come to realize that sacrifice does not work because, when we do things for others and we are unhappy, they aren’t happy either.
We cannot keep seeing ourselves as victims. We can’t stay in abusive relationships either. We shouldn’t think that we are not able to leave because it is our destiny, or because we don’t deserve better, or it’s not possible for us to be financially independent.
In fact, a woman who cannot sincerely love and care for herself cannot truly do it for others. You cannot give what you don’t have. We can only give unconditionally, with true love, when we are satisfied with ourselves. When women are happy, everybody is okay.
Happy women, raise happy kids.
We cannot continue to focus on keeping up appearances to catch a man and have children. Limiting our existence to these purposes turns us into slaves and makes us very unhappy. We can live as queens, but we are forced to be dependent. We can’t blame anybody else for our unhappiness: we have decided to believe that this is our role in society and that we “need” to capture a man and have children to have a place in the world.
The truth is, appearance is fleeting and temporary. It does not satisfy the soul. By placing so much importance on it, we live in the shadow of the world outside of us, limited and bitter. Our beauty might be striking, but unless we are strong and beautiful on the inside, we will never be happy and satisfied. By seeking our true value in the wrong places, we become unable to fulfill our true purpose in life.
Once and for all, we must realize the damage we are inflicting, not only on ourselves but also on our children and the world. When we go along and maintain a passive attitude with social pressures to focus on the appearance, the consequences are bigger than we think.
I am concerned with the confusing term of women’s liberation which we mistakenly imposed on ourselves and leaded us to the pain of competition with men. Instead, we must focus on the inner development and appreciation that will help us accept and respect the men in our lives because, as we learn to value ourselves, we will be able to acknowledge their contribution instead of competing with them. The focus should be on us.
We must support each other. The fact is, people treat and appreciate us, only when we do that with ourselves.
Our role in this time of great change is fundamental. Change begins with us. Men are here to complement and support us. It is useless to continue seeing them as enemies or putting them on a pedestal. We are both just as valuable, each with specific talents, qualities, and challenges.
The world will change when we do, because happy women raise happy children, and happy children will create a better world.
It’s all up to us!
Originally published at medium.com