If These Were All It Took to Achieve Change, We’d All Be Where We Wanted to BE.
And since we are not where we want to be, or at least many of us are not, what does it take to get “there”? How do we create the life we planned? While I am a firm believer in wishing, hoping, thinking and praying (you are humming that song in your head right? If not, look it up. It’s a catchy tune, even if the message is arcane), the truth is that most likely those are not going to be enough to get us to where we want to be. Which means there must be something else involved.
It’s these something “elses” that can block our progress. Can you relate? When it comes to wishing as opposed to setting concrete goals, wishing will win every time. Recently I experienced a bit of this truth when I set out a bit of fun for my neighbors. I offered passer-bys a chance to write out their wishes and several neighbors did so. Then a few weeks later, the offer was to set out specific goals. Yes, a few participated but not nearly as many as the wish crowd. I had to laugh as I realized how much we wish wishes were all it took to get us where we want to go. Hoping, thinking and praying seem to fall into the same category.
It’s going to take a bit more to move us along. Before I get into that, I do want to mention a few caveats from my perspective. First, I do not subscribe to the belief that you can be anything or do anything you set your mind to. Second, I don’t subscribe to the belief that, if it’s meant to be, it will happen—that is unless you do the work to make it happen. And third, what moves one person along may not move you. Now that I’ve established these ideas, let’s cover what is important from my seat at the table.
When things are just not going the way we hoped, the way we imagined or the way we feel they should, a myriad of emotions and thoughts begin to explode within. This is especially true if we have set ourselves up to believe we deserve the changes or perks or if we feel we have done everything necessary for the change to occur.
Number One: We can do or be anything we want.
Seriously? While there is value in plugging into the underlying idea, which to me, is “desire creates action”, there are dozens of ways that we might get stymied in reaching a desired goal. Material obstructions as well as personal ones. So be sure to evaluate what you desire, envision the steps necessary to achieve the goal, and assess if you are truly ready to take it on.
Number Two: If it’s meant to be, it will happen.
While I am all for conspiring with the Universe to create, this does not mean you don’t have to do the work and that you can neglect to assess if you have what is needed to complete the task. If you do your assessment and determine this is right action, AND you move forward, then the “meant to be” is super. Some people use this as an excuse to not do the work, meaning it’s too hard so I give up. Smooth and steady may or may not be a part of achieving a goal. A meant-to-be may also involve uncertainty, roadblocks, and down right pain in the neck moments.
Number Three: Someone’s Else’s Way is NOT your Way
While it is great to read articles or books on how to achieve goals, break a bad habit or start a new one, in reality if you don’t take into account who you are, the information may be completely unusable. It is crucial to understand what motivates you, where your strengths lie as well as what are your limitations. One good way to tap into this information is to take some kind of personality profile quiz. I personally like the enneagram and recommend it to all my clients. It changed my life. Once I understood my unique view of the world, I was able to see how certain decisions and choices I made when I was younger were a direct result of acting from my limits and not my strengths. You may decide to start here.
Number Four: Finally, Setting That Goal
Don’t expect much in the way of progress if you really don’t care. Motivation is super important. So ask yourself: Am I really interested? Do I really Care? Does it have value/worth to me? Does it get my energy going? And while you are at it, look a bit further: Does it clash with any cherished beliefs? Does it go against my principles? Just because you think you should or someone else thinks you should, that is simply not enough reason to move forward.
In Conclusion
I’m going to close by sharing a tool/practice I created that really brings one to the place where change can happen. It’s my hope it can help you get to that place you want to be. Ready? Here it is:
Go SLO=W
This advice may fly in the face of “get ‘er done” or “hurry up” and yet it is crucial to getting to where you really need to be. How so, you might ask. Here’s how.
It boils down to Stop. Listen. Observe. Do this and you will find the Wisdom/the way/the path you seek. No more wishing and hoping and thinking and praying alone. Stop. Listen. Observe. Find the wisdom that is there, within, just for you.
That’s the key to successful change. And getting to where you want to BE.
Thanks for reading! Let me know if this provokes thought or questions. I love dialogue that moves us to greater self knowledge and personal growth.
Verna, Your Soul Catalyst